We don’ need no stinkin’ Hello My Name is!

Just cleaning out my sketchbook of random ideas (this one spurred by a guy I saw walking around WonderCon a couple years ago, but without a defibrillator backpack).

Since my checks evidently didn’t bounce, I can now share the official schedule of Cool Jerk comic-con appearances in 2012 thus far; Cool Jerk may attend a ‘con or two later in the year. (Any suggestions?)

Staple! • Austin, TX

March 3-4

We’ve never been to Austin or Staple! so we’re really looking forward to this little independent show. We’ve heard nothing but good things about the city, the people and the attendees’ appetite for comics.

WonderCon • Anaheim

March 16-18

This will be Cool Jerk’s fifth year at WonderCon! They moved the venue from San Francisco while the Moscone Center is being renovated, so it’ll be interesting to see who makes the pilgrimage down from the Bay Area.

Phoenix Comicon • Phoenix

May 27-30

Really on the fence about Phoenix Comicon. The last time I tabled there (2010) it seemed more like “early Halloween” than a place for people to buy comics. So I’m likely giving it a pass.

Denver Comic Con • Denver

June 15-17

Cool Jerk has never exhibited in Denver, either… and that’s probably because Denver has never had a comic-con before now! The inaugural Denver Comic Con looks to fill the comic-con void in the Rockies, drawing in people from several adjacent states!

Comic-Con International • San Diego

July 11-15

Ten years in a row for Cool Jerk, in the same spot as always (Small Press K10, next to the restrooms and vomitorium)!

GeekGirlCon • Seattle

TBD (October?)

In lieu of spring’s Emerald City Comic-Con, Cool Jerk will be attending the second GeekGirlCon in the fall (if they hold a second con — stay tuned).

So mark your calendars, put in vacation time, book those flights and bring your wallets!

Find the petition at https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/

Nothing more riveting than waiting for the balls to drop!

Darlene’s joke, really; we saw a homeless guy holding a blank piece of cardboard and, well, the rest you know.

(One year ago, Darlene would’ve played Puppy’s part.)

On the count of three, raise that left eyebrow!

Yep, “Zeejay” is actually Zachary J. Simon, a long-time Cool Jerk reader and subscriber who won a contest I held a few months ago. The winner’s prize was a walk-on cameo in a Cool Jerk strip. Well, Zac has so much “friend equity” with Cool Jerk and has so many peccadilloes that I expanded his cameo into a full-fledged character. Then I blew his head off.

Luckily, Zac took no offense to his libelous portrayal, and stopped by my signing to shoot me in the head the breeze and buy a bunch of Cool Jerk shwag. Thanks, Zeejay!

Thanks also to Juan, Dan Horn (no relation), Danny and Rafael, who also bought some Cool Jerk books. And thanks to the crew of Southern California Comics — Jamie, Shawn, Matt, the other Matt and Sam — who were great hosts. And thanks to by better half Darlene for baking up a box of puffy, salted chocolate chip cookies for the customers and crew.

Seriously! Between Kristen Stewart, Ginnifer Goodwin and Lily Collins, I’m getting pretty sick of that chick. And Kim Kardashian is a given.

(Click it to ssshhhhhTHOOM!!-size it!)

Now it can be told: Zeejay is actually long-time reader Zachary Simon, who won the “appear in a Cool Jerk” contest I held a few months ago. REMEMBER THAT? Now that you’ve read this series with Zeejay, don’t you feel lucky you didn’t win??

I should hold another contest: Find me the trailer with the most “shh-THOOM!”s in it. I’m thinking the trailer for “Transformers: Dark of the Moon.” Can anyone beat that?

Remember kids — the studio is in Spittle Beach, not North Hollywood.