Alas, I lost my voice again. I can still speak, but it sounds like a bad cell phone signal.

San Diego Comic-Con 2005 was a raging success! I managed to hoodwink scores upon scores of new ‘Jerks to join the ever-expanding army! All you veteran ‘Jerks out there — please make them feel welcome and be sure to teach them the secret handshake.

It was really swell to be reunited with some of my sleeper agents. There are too many of you folks to thank, but I can at least give a shout out to Will, Jamie, Bozzi and Psyche, Kim and Ian, the Poway Posse, Joker and Tokyo Pizzaboy. And a tip o’ the fez to Mr. Childs, Mr. Nero and Mr. Poller for chillin’ with me at the table. And of course to my gal Darlene! I wonder how many of you new subscribers fell prey to her female charms?

The super-swell freebee tchotchkey (that I promised all of you subscribers if you came by the table and checked in) was extraordinarily late and didn’t arrive in time for the ‘Con. My heart was heavy but — good news! — the Cool Jerk Air Fresheners have arrived and now my corporate headquarters smells like a brothel!

Many T-shirts were sold, along with sampler books and underwear. It’s true! A lot of my merchandise backstock was drained, forcing me into reprints for next year. Doc Splatter got his very own T-shirt design this year! It’s a front-and-back design, limited run of 20 shirts (I think I’m down to 5 or 6). If you’re interested, buzz me and I’ll sell one to ya for $15. I’ll cover the shipping.

For a photo recap of the event, go HERE!