Welt, I just watched “Cabin Fever: Patient Zero” (2014) and what it boils down to is — essentially — an Ebola documentary. Bravo on the timeliness! If you’ve seen any of the other “Cabin Fever” films, you know the skinny: bunch of college coeds with infectious personalities start dying off one by one. If there’s one thing that hive come to expect from “Cabin Fever,” it’s a cautionary tale at heart. Lesion learned: it’s time to stop partying on an abandoned Caribbean island when your girlfriend’s skin melts off and she pukes black gore all over your pup tent.

It’s nice to see a true-to-form splatter movie among the rash of “found-footage” and low-budget parasite crap I’ve been watching this month. This movie positively sores over those! There are some genuine gross-out scenes but also some truly funny (and original) deaths that made my jaw hit the floor.

Acting was decent, terrific practical effects, good budget, two novel death scenes (one involving a pistol, another I can only call “death by dildo”) and solid direction by Kaare Andrews (comics folk know his work as an artist and writer). In fact, only the writing stumbled a bit here and there. Example: a swimwear-model-esque blonde research scientist and her inappropriate-even-for-casual-Friday tank top walking into the most dangerous room on the planet without a HAZMAT suit because I PROBABLY WON’T GET INFECTED BECAUSE I TRUST MY BOSS. *rolls eyes*

Baby's got back.

Doc Splatter gives it an A+. Don’t pus out — watch it today on a Netflix near you! (And stick around for the full end credits for some extra content.)