What the heck?!? Keep reading!

• Debuting at SDCCI: my FOURTH comics collection, Cool Jerk Vol. 3: Bimboozled! Unlike other trilogies (“The Matrix,” “Star Wars,” “Smokey and the Bandit”) these books keep getting better and better! Like Hodabeast and Chickadoowa that precede it, Bimboozled is loaded with more than 200 strips, and nearly 15% of them are Bimboozled-exclusive (i.e. they appear ONLY in the book, and haven’t/will never be online)! Sketches, Director’s Commentary, Outtakes, the insane-o Index… all there! Foreword by CHEW creator John Layman! $12.

• Of course I’ll have plenty of copies of Hodabeast (Cool Jerk Vol. 1), Chickadoowa (Cool Jerk Vol. 2) and Doc Splatter Ominous Omnibus to help fatten up your library! The Cool Jerk volumes run $12 a pop, and Doc Splatter is $8.

• Didn’t get a Cool Jerk T-shirt last year? They were pretty popular so I did a reorder. It’s probably my favorite design so far (it was Darlene’s idea). It comes in a myriad of sizes, in both crew neck (M/F) and ladies’ tanktops. $15.

• IT’S ART, YO!
Now this THIS I’m really excited about. I’m debuting Cool Jerk Panel Canvases at Comic-Con! What you’re looking at in the photo above is an assortment of small, gessoed canvases stretched onto a wood frames. Darlene and I pored over hundreds and HUNDREDS of my comics, and chose 40 panels that either consistently made us laugh and/or would be a sure-fire crowd pleaser. Supply is VERY LIMITED — we hand-manufactured only about 60 of these bad boys; for most of the panels, there was only one copy made. First-come, first-served! You have to see ’em to believe ’em. Perfect for your desk, wall or gallery! IT’S A POCKET MASTERPIECE! $25.

• ALSO debuting at Comic-Con this year, Cool Jerk original art! Yes, you read that right. You’ve seen ’em in Chickadoowa and Bimboozled. I’m selling the Sharpie roughs I use to create Cool Jerk (click here for more on that), and each sheet usually has two strips roughed out on it. Ready for the price of these one-of-a-kind keepsakes? READY?!? $5. That’s right. A five-spot. A fin. A Folding Lincoln. THAT’S CRAZY CHEAP!

• How about my 24-Hour Comic starring Doc Splatter? I’ll have a few of those, plus stickers, NEW glow-in-the-dark buttons, window decals and other Cool Jerk shwag you can’t possibly live without!

• As always, I’m more than happy to stink up your sketchbook with some pencil-and-ink action! Gratuities and donations to the HornCo Fund are always appreciated, of course. =:^)

• If you’ve been to my table before, good news! Team Cool Jerk is in the exact same spot we’ve been at since 2003! Here’s a map I whipped up as a refresher!

Click it to Comic-Con-Size it!

Lots of good stuff here, folks! If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be doing this — I really appreciate your support, enthusiasm and friendship.

Puppy’s recent adventure as a provisional member of WUAAARGH (We’re Unconventionally Attractive Actresses Albeit with Really Gigantic Heads) must’ve had an effect on fellow WUAAARGH member Rihanna. Seen here is a July 4 concert pic of Rihanna. Yes, she’s wearing a shiny black rubber catsuit (much in the style of my WUAAARGH uniforms)… but her hair style is VERY Fizgig-like!

Here’s one of several strips featuring Rihanna and Puppy from March.

Photo pinched from a popular celebrity gossip site but I see it’s also at www.rihannadaily.com — if the owner wishes it removed, just ask. I play nice.

Well, not yet, actually… but I hope you will soon!

Here’s the skinny:
• Contains more than 200 Cool Jerk strips, picking up from Cool Jerk Vol. 2: Chickadoowa!
• Nearly 15% of the strips within were created ONLY for this book, not ever having been seen by human eyeballs!
• You know those full-newspaper-page comics I did for The San Diego Union-Tribune? The ones that tied in with San Diego Comic-Con in 2001, 2002, 2003 and 2005? They’re in there!
• Like all my books, all strips have been digitally remastered to better than 600dpi resolution (in comparison, the ones you see online are 72dpi).
• Also like previous volumes, it contains all the extras you’ve come to expect: sketchbook sketches, cutting-room floor scraps, director’s commentary on every single strip and the anal-retentive index! How many books do you buy that compels, nay, FORCES you to reread it another three or four times? That’s almost like getting FOUR books in ONE! That’s added value!
• Foreword by CHEW creator John Layman!
• Limited print run of 1,000 copies!

Its debut will be at San Diego Comic-Con International, July 21-25. After the show I’ll make it available in the Cool Jerk store. $12 for 144 pages of Best Book Ever.

No shoving! Line starts to the left. Single file, please!

Phoenix Comicon is bagged and tagged and in the rear view mirror. It was a pretty odd show. It lasted three days (Fri.-Sun.) with a three-hour preview on Thursday night. Without getting into the grim, tear-inducing specifics, Team Cool Jerk almost pulled up stakes Friday night and called it quits.

I’ve done three-hour store signings that made 20 times — and that’s NOT an exaggeration — the amount of sales as Thursday and Friday brought in. When Friday wrapped, I asked myself, “What the hell? Does Phoenix not LIKE comics?” I knew it wasn’t Cool Jerk-specific, as I talked with other creators/exhibitors who considered every gimmick short of performing handstands (or sexual favors) to make a sale. It was more like a junior-high super-kawaii Halloween cosplay cutegasm hugfest than it was a convention for comics fans. (Comics fans with wallets, that is.)

Saturday arrived and immediately a dude ran up to my booth and exclaimed “OH MY GOD! COOL JERK! YOU ARE MY HERO!” That was pretty startling, but, alas, no sale was made. I gave Darlene the “let’s pack up the Subaru and go looking for Gila Monsters” look, but shortly afterward, a dude named Ron came up and bought a book. Then Josh and Rochelle. Then Adam. Then Bastion and Brad, who each bought two books. Tiffany remembered me from 2006 and bought both Cool Jerk volumes. Others came by and bought my t-shirts, buttons, stickers. Saturday ended up being pretty decent. We decided to hang around through Sunday.

Sunday mirrored Saturday with brisk sales and lots of activity. Thanks to Ben, Stephen, Daniel, Tyler and others who also patronized my table, joined the subscriber list and/or made the day worthwhile.

All tallied up, Phoenix ended up being a better show in two days than either Emerald City or WonderCon. Come to find out, the dude who stormed my table on Saturday morning was the boyfriend of a long-time Cool Jerk reader, Jamie (she became a subscriber at the 2006 show). She meant to come by but was either too busy with convention duties or was repelled by the manhole cover-sized splash of puke from Saturday afternoon. Sorry I missed you, Jamie!

Will I do Phoenix again? Hmm. I’ll have to think about it. Phoenix was a valuable lesson that no two shows are alike. I needed to adapt on the fly to accommodate attendees and pique their curiosities. Darlene suggested maybe I need to do some strips with Yuri in a milkmaid cosplay uniform so I can sell tiny hats with lace glued to them next year. =:^)

It could have been the sweltering Phoenix heat with temperatures hitting the triple digits. Maybe it was the milk maid accessories housed immediately next to my booth. It might’ve been the illo of Seashelly Dumpster on the Cool Jerk banner behind my table. Whatever the reason, Cool Jerk was quarantined temporarily Saturday afternoon. Someone called didn’t make it to the big white telephone to call Ralph and instead dropped a round-trip meal ticket right there in the middle of the aisle, closing traffic for part of the afternoon.

Fortunately, this reversal of fortune didn’t affect the many people who came out on Sunday and stopped by the table — many of whom are now new fans and friends of Cool Jerk.

Updates on the Cactus Comicon to come later this week!

Click it to Gila Monster-size it!

By overwhelming demand, Team Cool Jerk will be returning to Phoenix Comicon, Thursday-Sunday (May 27-30) at the Phoenix Convention Center! This marks my second time at the “Cactus ‘Con” and I’m looking forward to kicking it with you loyal subscribers from 2006, plus indoctrinating thousands of new readers into the Cool Jerk posse! I’ll have all my books (didn’t have ’em in ’06), plus lovely new T-shirts (in mens’ and womens’ fits) and other stuff you can’t possibly live without!

My fourth-straight year at WonderCon was terrific! Darlene couldn’t make it this time around, so instead I enlisted my loooong-time buddy (and loooong-time Cool Jerk reader) Jay Kenoyer (above) to help man the table on Saturday. We go way back, Jay and I. Like 1982. He’s one of the funniest people I know. So as you can imagine, hilarity ensued. It was awesome to see a bunch of old friends and nake new ones. I’d like to personally say hi and thanks to Daniel & Dawna Steamcrow, Team Space Punks, Team Lunasea Studios, Team Ben Walker, Alex Gamboa, IronChuck, Earthdog, Duncan, Jacob, Korin, Neil, Vinh, Gabby & Raquel, Joseph, Peter, Alan Groening, Gaby, Sam and his pork bun, Chris & Tara, Mimi Cruz, Justin Orr, Brian Peets, Lance and Carla Bloodcolossus, Deb Aoki, Jane Wiedlin and probably many others!

Here’s a brief photo recap, so you can live vicariously through me!

Making sure the walkways are free of Hydra agents are Captain America and Col. Nick Fury! (that’s me in the background on the left, texting Madame Hydra to STAND DOWN!)

Puppy as Agent of WUAAARGH marker sketch for Alex Gamboa, who I think has at least a half-dozen quasi-pervy character sketches from me by now.

Hey, it’s Angel from the X-Men! How’s it hangin, big guy? Um, apparently to the right.

Duncan Cook is in the hizzle, fo’ shizzle! I say that because that’s totally the way he talks. Hey, Sarah Kuhn — he likes your book!

Here’s Valerie Perez as Zatanna, along with Mary Marvel and Supergirl. See? I’m throwing some props to you DC fans, too!

This attendee flat-out rocked the Batgirl costume. Custom-tailored leather everything.

Cool Jerk’s next stop will be in Phoenix at the end of May. I hope to beta-test something really cool there. I’m pretty excited about it, and I think you will be, too. (hint: NOT a book, NOT a T-shirt)

So I was at WonderCon (San Francisco) last week, manning the Cool Jerk table and all the things that entails — selling books and T-shirts, doing sketches, chatting with readers and making new friends, Tweeting and texting updates to Darlene (she opted to stay in San Diego so she could join me in Phoenix next month).

A couple of petite women wandered up to my table amid a small flurry of traffic. They started leafing through my Cool Jerk books and after a few seconds, the one closest to me dressed in pink and green gestured to the covers of my books and asked, “So are you a fan of The Capitols?” (the reference: The Capitols did the song “Cool Jerk” in 1966)

My face widened in a smile, “No, I’m much more of a Go-Go’s fan.” The gal who asked the question smiled back. (the reference: The Go-Go’s covered “Cool Jerk” on their 1982 album “Vacation.”)

We chatted the usual comic-con small talk back and forth across the table for a minute or two. “Are you having a good convention?” “How many times have you been to WonderCon?” “Has it started raining outside?” “Are you here all three days?” Her answers led me to think I might be talking to a fellow professional, as she said she’s been to the San Diego Comic-Con International a few years in a row and that it’s good to chill out at WonderCon where she can just walk around and have fun. I glanced down at her badge but it was turned around, so her identity remained a complete mystery. But I had a gut feeling, brought on by her answers and a familiar, distinctive squeakiness in her voice that I didn’t quite place when we first started talking. I waited until she was looking away and I said one word.

“Jane?”

She turned around and said, “Yes?”

Yes, this whole time I was talking to Jane Wiedlin. Guitarist of The Go-Go’s. And I sincerely had no Clue up until about 30 seconds into our chat. (I wonder if someone were filming this, at what point I had my “a-ha” moment… and if it was even noticeable)

I continued with my conversation. “At the expense of being a dork, could I get a photo of you, please?” Jane not only said yes, but came around to my side of the Cool Jerk table. She introduced me to her sister, who graciously took a photo of us. I took another one for good measure. Afterward we continued chatting about comics. She said she’ll be at SDCCI promoting her comic — Lady Robotika — coming out this summer. I told her to come by Small Press and say Hi again.

Photo by Meg Wiedlin

As they were leaving, I said “Hold on a sec.” I gave Jane the display copy of the ladies’ Cool Jerk tank with narrow strappy straps as a thank you for the decades of good music. I asked her to wear it in good faith and promote Cool Jerk — whether lounging around or washing the car, etc. She said, “Oh! I’ll probably have to wear something underneath it,” as she held it up to her small frame and laughed.

Jane rocks (you can tell by the secret double devil-horn hand gestures)!

Jane Wiedlin. How ’bout that. Anyone who’s known me for more than a few years knows I adore The Go-Go’s. I even have an autographed Go-Go’s poster on the wall next to my Mac that I got in San Diego at a 1999 reunion concert.

I texted Darlene immediately afterward and we laughed loud about it, because Darlene has an otherworldly ability to lock in and remember faces in some cyber-techo-organic mental database. SHE would’ve known that was Jane Wiedlin 20 yards away. God as my witness (and Jane, if you’re reading this, I’m crapping you not), it took me a minute of conversation — WELL AFTER I mentioned I was a Go-Go’s fan — before I realized who I was talking to.

A couple days later I’m back in San Diego, and I know I have to write a blog about this. I wanted to verify Jane’s sister’s name, but the Internet wasn’t very helpful in that regard. So I Tweeted her and asked, “@janewiedlin I’d like to give credit to your sister for taking a photo of us at #wondercon; Meg, right?”

A little while later Jane replied, “Yes, Meg! I love my CJ dress, wearing it as nightie.”

>shudder< WHAT HAVE I DONE…?!? Fellas (and a bunch'a you ladies, don't deny it), I apologize -- if it weren't for Cool Jerk, Jane Wiedlin would be sleeping in the nude.

Click it to hugeify it!

I’ll be manning the Cool Jerk table at WonderCon once again, Friday-Sunday (April 2-4) at Moscone Center South, San Francisco. It’s the fourth year in a row that I’ve been there, and I’m looking forward to seeing a bunch of you subscribers (Duncan — I owe you a buck) as well as corrupting the minds of unwitting new readers! I imagine the weather will be awesome, so if you live in a 600-mile radius of the Bay Area, hop in the car and come on down! I’ll have all my books, plus lovely new T-shirts (in mens’ and womens’ fits) and other stuff you can’t possibly live without!

Just for grins, I decided to scan in a recent strip in its various stages of completion, just to show you what goes into a typical Cool Jerk comic.

Sketchbook sketch

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I wish I used my Cool Jerk sketchbooks more like other artists and cartoonists, filling pages with character studies, still life studies, reference drawings, etc. Instead, I usually cram 2-4 strip roughs per page. I’ve been doing this since the first Like, For Shore! strips in 1987. Ninety-five percent of the time I just jot down basic dialogue and crude shapes to help me envision who is saying what and where (the other five percent gets more fleshed out).

Sharpie scribbles

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At this point I jump to the Mac. In this example, I went to a FreeHand three-panel template with panels 2 and 3 merged into one. I type up the dialogue in Hornopolis and arrange the composition. After printing out the panels with the dialogue, I take it AND a sheet of thick, coated paper and head to the lightbox. There, I use a purple ultra-fine-point Sharpie and scribble out basic composition onto the coated stock, using the panels printout as a guide. (In the image above, I merged the panels and the scribbles, showing you a close representation of what I see on the lightbox) This stage is where I determine if I need to make adjustments to the panels and dialogue. For example, you’ll see little arrows here and there, noting where text or artwork needs to move.

Pencils

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Back to the Mac: I make final compositional and text edits (notice the changes I made to the first panel). Next I print out the FINAL strip on special paper that prevents ink from wicking. I take it and the Sharpie scribbles to the lightbox and reverse the order, this time penciling the artwork onto the latest print while using the Sharpie scribbles as a guide.

Inks

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The most time-consuming stage is the inking, which I do with a 000 Robert Simmons watercolor brush and a special cocktail of Koh-i-noor India inks. India ink is permanent and every line counts. If I’m sloppy or jittery from caffeine, I introduce errors to the artwork. That means I have to spend more time afterward cleaning up the art with Pelikan Graphic White (a special opaque white paste that — once watered down — I apply via brush to correct mistakes or add “white effects”). I also use Sakura Pigma Micron pens for fine line work (like backgrounds) and my signature, which I always save for last.

Post-production

Click it to... oh, you know.

I scan in my original as a 600dpi grayscale TIFF. From there, I rotate the image to an exact 180° axis (sometimes no more than 0.02° rotation — yes, I’m that anal) and crop. I convert the 12.4MB grayscale file to a 1.55MB bitmap file, which knocks the comic into stark black-and-white. This allows for easy Photoshop corrections with the Paintbrush tool and Wacom pressure-sensitive tablet. Sometimes I need to add graphic elements on top of the artwork, like CENSORED or text boxes (see above), so I create those in FreeHand and pull them into Photoshop. Once it’s 100% finalized, I save the “master” file AND make a 72dpi .gif copy for the website. So what you see online is nowhere near as detailed and crisp as the version that makes it into the book.

For more information on the process, go here!