No shoving! Line starts to the left. Single file, please!

Phoenix Comicon is bagged and tagged and in the rear view mirror. It was a pretty odd show. It lasted three days (Fri.-Sun.) with a three-hour preview on Thursday night. Without getting into the grim, tear-inducing specifics, Team Cool Jerk almost pulled up stakes Friday night and called it quits.

I’ve done three-hour store signings that made 20 times — and that’s NOT an exaggeration — the amount of sales as Thursday and Friday brought in. When Friday wrapped, I asked myself, “What the hell? Does Phoenix not LIKE comics?” I knew it wasn’t Cool Jerk-specific, as I talked with other creators/exhibitors who considered every gimmick short of performing handstands (or sexual favors) to make a sale. It was more like a junior-high super-kawaii Halloween cosplay cutegasm hugfest than it was a convention for comics fans. (Comics fans with wallets, that is.)

Saturday arrived and immediately a dude ran up to my booth and exclaimed “OH MY GOD! COOL JERK! YOU ARE MY HERO!” That was pretty startling, but, alas, no sale was made. I gave Darlene the “let’s pack up the Subaru and go looking for Gila Monsters” look, but shortly afterward, a dude named Ron came up and bought a book. Then Josh and Rochelle. Then Adam. Then Bastion and Brad, who each bought two books. Tiffany remembered me from 2006 and bought both Cool Jerk volumes. Others came by and bought my t-shirts, buttons, stickers. Saturday ended up being pretty decent. We decided to hang around through Sunday.

Sunday mirrored Saturday with brisk sales and lots of activity. Thanks to Ben, Stephen, Daniel, Tyler and others who also patronized my table, joined the subscriber list and/or made the day worthwhile.

All tallied up, Phoenix ended up being a better show in two days than either Emerald City or WonderCon. Come to find out, the dude who stormed my table on Saturday morning was the boyfriend of a long-time Cool Jerk reader, Jamie (she became a subscriber at the 2006 show). She meant to come by but was either too busy with convention duties or was repelled by the manhole cover-sized splash of puke from Saturday afternoon. Sorry I missed you, Jamie!

Will I do Phoenix again? Hmm. I’ll have to think about it. Phoenix was a valuable lesson that no two shows are alike. I needed to adapt on the fly to accommodate attendees and pique their curiosities. Darlene suggested maybe I need to do some strips with Yuri in a milkmaid cosplay uniform so I can sell tiny hats with lace glued to them next year. =:^)

As is tradition here at Cool Jerk International, I’ve uploaded the SDCCI ’09 recap, complete with photos and linkylinks!

Next, I want to say thanks to the thousands of people who came by my table this year. Many got a personal introduction to Cool Jerk, many came by to say “hi” and many came with folding money to get some books, T-shirts and whatnot. A few of you brought sketchbooks for me to junk up. Several stopped in to hand-deliver a letter to The Doc. Some came by for interviews, photos or just to stare at me uncomfortably for long stretches of time. It’s all good!

I’d like to personally say hi and thanks to Will Bento, Matan Chaffee, Chris and Tara Mobley, David Poller, Armando Vargas, Kim the Catgirl (missed you on Sunday!), Marc Mason, Steve Yatson, Earthdog & the Mrs., Alex Gamboa & the future Mrs., Zachary Simon, Nicole, Dorian Wright, Ming Doyle, Jessiga Nigri, Randy, Ken Rolow, Eric & Jocelyn, Daniel Wiegand, Vincent, PJ Perez, Peter from Newhall, Keith Garcia (KEITH!), Bethany Jordan, Gina D’Angelo, Nicholas, Dennis from Comic Gallery, Larry Williams, Armac (HeroClix hook-up), Carob Sue (who snuck in on Sunday just to say hi), Doug Thigpen, Chris (Pizzaboy) Coleman and Jen, Jamie & Jay, Whitney Matheson, James Sime, Jonathan Solomon, Joe Hughes & Cameron Balint, Eduardo, Richard Foley for extending the comic-con another week, the voluminous Poway Posse (Nathan, Joe, Ben, Barry, Mack, John, Ricky, Robert, Dana, Shaylan and “Laime” by proxy) and I know there were many many more please forgive me but my typing hand is starting to spasm & smoke!

But before I go, I’d be remiss to not give shout-outs to colleagues and allies Kevin Church, JustJenn, Snarkydork, Chris Wisnia & Britton Walters, Ryan Claytor, Paul Friedrich, Ben & Andrea Walker, Daniel & Dawna Steamcrow, Superfro and BavarianErin, Jacie Landeros, David Malki !, Robyn Bremner, John Layman, Deb Aoki, Mick & Holly Gray and Chris Gore (and his daughter Haley). And, of course, to Darlene aka Mrs. The Narrator.

I must be getting better at this. For the first time in five years of tabling at San Diego Comic-Con International, I didn’t blow out my voice or get sick the following week!

Here’s the report: Hodabeast sold well, although I had to amend my pitch/display day-to-day to maximize sales. The Doc Splatter T-shirts are gone. Many people got a two-dimensional inaction figure, Post-Its or buttons just for getting close to my proximity.

I’d like to say thanks to all my friends and inductees from previous comic-cons who took a few minutes to come by and chat/buy stuff/get some sketches. There’s no way I can mention all of you, but here’s a shout out to Joe, Ben, Barry, Jonathan and Shay of the ever-expanding “Poway Posse,” Jamie and Jay (first to buy the book on Wednesday night), Iowa’s am-badass-adors Erin and Jeremy (OMG! WTF? Thanks!), Lacie, Zachary, Steve Yatson who’s such a Poser (Thanks!), Chris Coleman from Tokyo, Mighty Layman, Marc Mason, Nero, Roman, sketchmongers Jonathan and DrumGirl, Trevor of Wolff and Byrd attorneys-at-law, Kim the legal-sword-wielder cat-girl and her pop, Armando, the David Poller, Tony Stark’s boss Jason Childs (!), Josh (and Bridget by proxy), Earthdog, Jose and Naomi, Mike A., Ryan and so many more!

Special thanks to my gal Darlene, who provided a lot of support, clever ideas, laughs and energy. Most of what was made available at SDCCI wouldn’t have been possible without her.

If you’d like to live vicariously through me, check the photo-heavy recap page.