My veal pen for 2005. T-Shirts, collectible business cards, buttons, stickers, sampler books, hats, Jones soda and a thong. Even MORE crap for all!

David Poller, yours truly and Jason Childs at the table.

If Gotham’s defenders are here… who’s protecting the city?

I guess that leaves Batgirl, whose shift begins in an hour.

And here’s the movie version of Nightwing.

Two candy-powered ‘Jerk fans, Kim the Cat and Ian.

The source of the aforementioned candy. He looks more like Elton John than Johnny Depp, tho.

“How much do you like Cool Jerk?” “THIS much!”
Other days they were dressed as Hulk and She-Hulk, Flash (below) and Catwoman, two members of the Green Lantern Corps and Vision and Scarlet Witch.
The dude was commando. Swear.

Sweet Jesus. This guy makes Jack Nicholson look like an old woman. And (seriously) he’s a Cool Jerk subscriber!

The ass of the Fastest Man Alive! (this one’s for all the ladies)

The Sentinel of Liberty better not skimp on the relish.

Another Black Canary, Catwoman, Batman (in back) and Harley Quinn.

Doc Splatter’s colleague, straight from London — Shawn (of the Dead)!

Hey, zombie! Watch out for Shawn!!

Spider-Man nemesis Electro! The fingertips really shot electricity, I think.

Dark Phoenix stopped by to annihilate the hemisphere.

Jack Black was hangin’ around, talking smack and promoting “King Kong.”

Gene Simmons looking skeezier than ever.

One of the best costumes at the ‘Con…

…and one of the worst (hint: Dr. Doom doesn’t have “dirty pillows”).

Another celeb. I always dug his song “Rock You Like a Hurricane.”

Scarlet Witch and Vision. Homeboy’s mask was too high so you can see his chin bulging out of the costume’s neck… among other bulges.

He’s got a Question for you: what’s the matter with the dude over his right shoulder?!?

“So, what’re you gonna wear to the ‘Con today?”
“Oh, I was thinking my denim short-shorts, striped leggings and my Sidewinder missile bra.”

She’s actually quite shy, I’m told.

Alas, I lost my voice again. I can still speak, but it sounds like a bad cell phone signal.

San Diego Comic-Con 2005 was a raging success! I managed to hoodwink scores upon scores of new ‘Jerks to join the ever-expanding army! All you veteran ‘Jerks out there — please make them feel welcome and be sure to teach them the secret handshake.

It was really swell to be reunited with some of my sleeper agents. There are too many of you folks to thank, but I can at least give a shout out to Will, Jamie, Bozzi and Psyche, Kim and Ian, the Poway Posse, Joker and Tokyo Pizzaboy. And a tip o’ the fez to Mr. Childs, Mr. Nero and Mr. Poller for chillin’ with me at the table. And of course to my gal Darlene! I wonder how many of you new subscribers fell prey to her female charms?

The super-swell freebee tchotchkey (that I promised all of you subscribers if you came by the table and checked in) was extraordinarily late and didn’t arrive in time for the ‘Con. My heart was heavy but — good news! — the Cool Jerk Air Fresheners have arrived and now my corporate headquarters smells like a brothel!

Many T-shirts were sold, along with sampler books and underwear. It’s true! A lot of my merchandise backstock was drained, forcing me into reprints for next year. Doc Splatter got his very own T-shirt design this year! It’s a front-and-back design, limited run of 20 shirts (I think I’m down to 5 or 6). If you’re interested, buzz me and I’ll sell one to ya for $15. I’ll cover the shipping.

For a photo recap of the event, go HERE!

Hello, all!

The San Diego Comic-Con International Preview Night went off without a hitch… EXCEPT… remember that cool freebee item I was mentioning in the mailers the past couple of weeks? The items that were supposed to arrive last week? Well, I called the distributor and they shipped TODAY. And UPS Ground at that. So all the cool freebees for you folks are going to show up at Cool Jerk’s corporate headquarters next Tuesday. I’m bent. So, I have a Plan B — I can either get a mailing address from all of you subscribers who come by my table and I’ll mail it out next week, OR I can whip out the pencil and sketch something for you. The freebee is really cool (allegedly) and every subscriber who stopped by is excited to hear about it. But a sketch is infinitely more valuable in the long run. Your call!

ITEM! On the way to the ‘Con tomorrow (Thursday), be sure to pick up The San Diego Union-Tribune. You’ll see a full-page Cool Jerk strip in the Night&Day section. Read it there first, BEFORE I publish it online!

Plenty of crap for all!

Young minds forever corrupted… by Cool Jerk!

My arch-nemesis after the freak accident that grafted four prehensile tentacles to his body!

That’d be me (second from left) surrounded by Ghostbusters and She-Hulk. Those Ghostbuster uniforms were freakin’ sweet! And She-Hulk was best-lookin’ 7-foot-tall green gal in Nike underwear at the ‘Con. Swear.

Dr. Octopus kicks Cool Jerk’s pasty-white ass! (Doc Ock is Nathan Pierce, a ‘Jerk subscriber from last year’s Comic-Con, btw!)

Nightcrawler after some hormone therapy, an overdose of estrogen and a trip to Kinney Shoes. Love the fanny pack, you fuzzy blue elf!

Doc Ock drops his guard and gets laid out!

Ugly doll, cute doll, ugly doll.

Long-time ‘Jerk subscribers examining an ashcan and… the thong!

Even dainty, mythological forest creatures enjoy a good laugh now and then!

Suffocation hazard! Keep Cool Jerk stickers away from children!

“Soda sense tingling…!” After a day beating the living crap out of criminals, Spidey likes to throw back a special Cool Jerk Root Beer Jones Soda! (That’s Will Bento behind the mask)

Aqua Teen Hunger Force takes a breather.

No cuts in line! No slashes, either!

AWESOME Wolff and Byrd – Supernatural Attorneys at Law!

Bruce lives on!

That Monaghan Hobbit dude looking at some cool comics or something!

Best Superman at the ‘Con, hands down.

Remember that swell movie “It’s Alive?” I did (hence the smile)!

Ruining some gal’s sketchbook with my chicken scratches.

Another Nightcrawler. Well, I guess we all know why his tail was sticking straight up…!

A comic-con isn’t a comic-con without Buddy Christ. He was probably wondering why everyone was blowing off church to hang out with society’s seedy underbelly.

BEST COSTUME EVER! Actually, it’s an upcoming Bowen sculpture of Galactus. I made a joke about this two years ago, kinda. Wish it were actual size!

BEST FANS EVER! Since it was the last day, I decided to give them the Puppy thong. Of course, I personalized it for them by wearing it every day of the convention… even in the mornings when I was doing lots of yard work. Gosh it was a humid weekend! Anyway, I peeled it off and now it’s theirs.

In exchange for the thong, the crew above gave me this lovely work of fan art. I think it’s illegal to do that to money… but it’s probably illegal to sell used underwear, too. Thanks, chums! (note the anatomically correct illustration of the thong)

Incredibly hot! uh, I’m talking about the costume. It must’ve been incredibly hot in there.

The awesome Ms. Erin Gray. I regret to say that this is the first year in about four years that I didn’t get to take a photo with her. I went up there (autograph “veal pens” in the Sails Pavilion) but she’d gone home for the day I guess. >sigh<

Oh my heck! Check out the hellaradbitchin’ photos taken today at San Diego Comic-Con International!

Notables: The voice almost went out. I traded a Cool Jerk trucker hat for a Fantastic Four pin (it was a ‘con exclusive by FOX to promo next year’s movie; I missed it the night before when they cracked open the boxes and everyone grabbed ’em). I junked up a few more sketchbooks and sold some shwag. I added a bunch more ‘Jerks to the weekly emailer. Two cool-as-hell sisters from here in SD brought in their well-preserved copies of two infographics I did for “X2” and “Spider-Man 2” for me to autograph (!!). And I was ambushed by the “Poway Posse” a couple more times, and we traded artwork for underwear (follow the “photos” link above)!

A shout out to prestidigitator James Burks, my table buddy to the right, for being swell and a good motivator. He’s got quite the following, and for good reason. Check out his online strip, “Martin’s Misdirection,” and buy some of his stuff!

Well, I’m exhausted and full of bite-size Snickers and juice bags. Darlene and I want to say thanks to everyone who visited the Small Press tables this year! I know there are lots more exciting booths, displays, merchants, events and panel discussions to go to, but it’s great you folks took a few minutes to come by. Remember to check my CafePress shop to get merch that I had on display!

Sweet jumping prunes! Day three is in the can!

Notables: I autographed a shoe, chatted with the Scotts (McCloud and Kurtz), actaully sold some ‘Jerk merch and signed up dozens more ‘Jerks to the weekly mailer! I was at the table most of the day, but managed to slip away to catch the FOX panels on August’s “Alien vs. Predator” and next year’s “Fantastic Four” movies. No shock to anyone that I’m a huge FF fan. A lot of my concerns were alleviated by what was said. But heck… there’s plenty of room to screw things up, since principal shooting hasn’t even started yet. Darlene and I missed the Masquerade this year but that’s fine because we’re VERY LOUD hecklers. As it is, my voice is gonna be shredded tomorrow.

Thanks to Sean McDade — fellow cartoonist and artist from waaay back (like when Cool Jerk was running in the Reno and Palm Springs newspapers) — for blowing a few hours and dollars over dinner!

Remember to check my CafePress shop to get merch that I have on display at the ‘Con.

Well, rip off my head and call me Jayne Mansfield! Check out more dope photos taken today at San Diego Comic-Con International!

Among those photos you’ll see Spidey, who is actually one of the most-loyal Cool Jerk readers around! He and his posse met me last year and clued me in that they used to read Cool Jerk each week in Reno (when it was published in the Reno Gazette-Journal)! Plus there’s Psyche and Bozzi, two swell friends from a ways back, checking out the Puppy thong. And geez there’re so many more people to tip the fez to; suffice it to say that many folks from last year came back to say hi and many more joined the legion o’Jerks!

Costume-wise, we saw at least three Wonder Woman impersonators and one Troia (that’s the grown-up version of Wonder Girl), a fantastic Xena and Black Cat, yet another Nightcrawler, a Raven, a female Riddler, Adam West-style Batman, plenty of furries, several Star Wars characters and the “Prosthetic Forehead Club,” which consisted of about four Klingons and a Hellboy. Holy crap! And the Masquerade isn’t even until tomorrow!

Oh my sweet mother of God in a sidecar with chocolate jimmies and a lobster bib!

Lots of people spreading the love, lemme tell ya! Gotta say hi to a bunch of ‘Jerks from last year who sought me out and said hi. Jesse from Guam showed up; he used to work at the paper (Pacific Daily News) that ran Cool Jerk on its teen page a decade ago! Many more ‘Jerks from the four corners of the U.S. were initiated to the ever-growing ranks of subscribers. ‘Jerk farthest from home today: Nathan Rice from Portland, ME.

Remember to check my CafePress shop to get merch that I have on display at the ‘Con.