In true Cool Jerk fashion, I’m here to help my friend and Marvel Girl, Sarah Kuhn pimp her book One Con Glory. Ms. Kuhn’s novel follows the adventures of Julie — a journalist — and her quest to obtain an uber-rare Glory Gilmore action figure at where else? A comic-con.

It’s full of win. Buy it from Nerd Alert Press.

When I cartoon, I cartoon for me. Which is to say, I’ve found in the past that I’m not much of a team player when it comes to taking instruction… unless I ask for it.

There was a time when some Powers That Be at The San Diego Union-Tribune considered running Cool Jerk each week. Negotiations broke down fast when I was told, “We can have your characters go to some of the area bars and clubs and talk about how the bands are!” Yeah… no thanks. Armpit and Puppy are not going to shill for Canes, Brick by Brick or The Casbah.

Now when I did Cool Jerk for the Reno Gazette-Journal, I didn’t get any marching orders from editorial. When I started Cool Jerk, I tried to tie it in with the center-package (lead) story on the teen page. And after a while, Cool Jerk marched to its own drumbeat, and here we are 18 years later.

But when I cartooned for The Daily Sparks Tribune, it was an open team-up with the editor, Randy Frisch. In fact, he’d come up with the target (usually a political figure) and an outline of an idea, and let me run with it. That worked for me, as I didn’t (and don’t) really follow politics.

Another exception to the rule is a project I did with comics writer/blogger/luminary Kevin Church. It’s as close to a professional collaboration as I’ve had, as Kevin supplied an actual screenplay for me to work from (a much different animal from “Let’s do a gag on water rationing” — no disrespect, Randy). It’s called “Copy Protection,” and we got it up and running just in time for Halloween. I’m pretty proud of it. I’m no Neal Adams, but that’s kind of the point, Kevin told me. He liked my style of Cool Jerk and Doc Splatter and thought it’d be a good fit for his story. And it’s a good story at that. I actually started feeling remorse for a couple characters by the end of the third reel.

So go check it out — it’s a quick read. WARNING: unlike Cool Jerk or Doc Splatter, it’s Rated PG-13 or R, and probably NSFW.

Here we have Chris Gore of G4TV, hanging out at the Cool Jerk table. He wrote the foreword to my third book, Doc Splatter Ominous Omnibus, which debuted at San Diego Comic-Con. He was really gracious to Tweet his location so his many stalkers followers could find him at my table. The banners behind me are brand new, thanks to my longtime friend and Cool Jerk ally Nikki at Instant Sign Center, Reno, NV.

And speaking of gore, here’s a “booth babe” for some “chicks with chainsaws” thing.

Here’s comics writer/blogger/gadfly Kevin Church (with drink) and Santa Barbara’s favorite pop culture pundits, Lance & Carla Hoffman. Every single photo I have of Kevin has him drinking something (see inset).

Here’s Eric again with a sketch of Doc Splatter chainsawing everyone’s favorite emo vampire Edward Cullen (his request). “Twilight” was this year’s favorite punching bag.

Spider-Woman and Magneto stopped by to pick up my Cool Jerk books Chickadoowa and Hodabeast. Then they zapped me with a combo venom blast/magnetic pulse and took off.

A drawing of Mr. Pinkle for a girl’s sketchbook.

You’ll remember my friend Shay from last year, dressed as Molotov Cocktease. This year she’s rocking the Dark Phoenix thing.

Yes, that’s Megan Rae in a Dalek dress. She’s holding a plunger and an eggbeater. Check out the shoes. HILARIOUS!! One of my favorite costumes!

That would be director John Landis giving me the thumbs up, because he asked me to sign his copy of Doc Splatter Ominous Omnibus. (It’s dedicated to him, after all)

Aw. One thing you can count on at Comic-Con are couples who want to pose for photos. Here’s Batgirl and Batman (circa 1960s TV), Orion Slave Girl and Captain Christopher Pike and Jean Grey as Phoenix with her mentor Professor X.

Here’s a funny moment: Mrs. The Narrator Darlene, our friends Superfro and BavarianErin and O.G. Poway Posse founding member Nathan eyeballing a 6’3″ walking bunny rabbit. No lie.

Did I lie?

I usually can’t get away from my table but for a minute or two, but luckily I was able to squeeze off pix of Dr. Mrs. The Monarch (from “Venture Brothers”), Magma from the New Mutants (I think) and old-school Black Canary (she was also dressed as Batgirl, above).

Speaking of “Venture Brothers,” here’s a squad of henchmen.

And before you know it, POW! Jay Garrick (the original Flash) kicked some ass!

Darlene was able to get shots of most of the “True Blood” cast! Michelle Forbes, Rutina Wesley, Deborah Ann Woll, Anna Paquin, Alexander Skarsgard and Stephen Moyer. There were more cast members but after Darlene got the pix of Stephen and Alexander the lens got all foggy (YOU know what I’m talkin’ about…!).

Here’s O.G. Poway Posse founding members Ben DiAnna modeling the brand-new Cool Jerk shirt, with his brother Joe in the background dropping a Photobomb.

The Poway Posse is ever-expanding! Here’s Dana, Robert, Ben and John, chillaxin’ at the Cool Jerk table before heading off to causing trouble.

More couples! Here’s Black Widow and Nick Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., Scarlett and Snake Eyes from G.I. Joe, and a couple of reprehensible hooligans (barely) wearing matching outfits.

That’s me and Robert Englund! You’ll remember him as the benevolent visiting alien Willie in the acclaimed TV mini-series “V.” I gave him a copy of Doc Splatter Ominous Omnibus. (It’s dedicated to him, after all)

Here’s Darlene and me flanking our friend Robyn Bremner at the Marvel booth, where she was working that weekend. She gave us maple syrup from her native land (Canada).

Here’s Jodi Kurland and Nathan Pierce sharing in some morning waffles, with real maple syrup from Robyn.

No shortage of “Venture Brothers” characters getting cosplayed at the ‘Con. Here’s Dr. Mrs. The Monarch with her Pupa Twins.

USAToday Pop Candy’s Whitney Matheson with her copy of Doc Splatter Ominous Omnibus. OMG! She’s so awesome! *swoon*

Probably the most-photographed person at Comic-Con, here’s my dear friend Jessica Nigri as Pikachu. Once she heard that her male twin Pokéyman was a recurring character in Cool Jerk, she jumped onto the sign-up sheet and joined the ever-growing army of Cool Jerk subscribers!

Another one of the most-photographed people at Comic-Con (proof: look behind my right arm), here’s The Lollipop King from “South Park.” I actually know his secret identity and he’s a good pal. I have to confess, I lost a little bit of my innocence that day — I saw things I can’t unsee (and neither can YOU!).

Cool Jerk subscriber Wren as Zatanna. I might be mistaken, but I think she was working for Stark Industries a couple days later. (Wren, if I’m wrong, pls. correct me!)

Vermont’s ambassador of keen fashion style (and new Cool Jerk subscriber) Gina D’Angelo with a copy of Hodabeast to read on her long flight home. She was dressed in Dr Girlfriend’s mall outfit.

As always, here’s a little somethin’ somethin’ for the ladies. That’s Nightwing, evidently on his day off from patrolling the alleys of Blüdhaven.

As is tradition here at Cool Jerk International, I’ve uploaded the SDCCI ’09 recap, complete with photos and linkylinks!

Next, I want to say thanks to the thousands of people who came by my table this year. Many got a personal introduction to Cool Jerk, many came by to say “hi” and many came with folding money to get some books, T-shirts and whatnot. A few of you brought sketchbooks for me to junk up. Several stopped in to hand-deliver a letter to The Doc. Some came by for interviews, photos or just to stare at me uncomfortably for long stretches of time. It’s all good!

I’d like to personally say hi and thanks to Will Bento, Matan Chaffee, Chris and Tara Mobley, David Poller, Armando Vargas, Kim the Catgirl (missed you on Sunday!), Marc Mason, Steve Yatson, Earthdog & the Mrs., Alex Gamboa & the future Mrs., Zachary Simon, Nicole, Dorian Wright, Ming Doyle, Jessiga Nigri, Randy, Ken Rolow, Eric & Jocelyn, Daniel Wiegand, Vincent, PJ Perez, Peter from Newhall, Keith Garcia (KEITH!), Bethany Jordan, Gina D’Angelo, Nicholas, Dennis from Comic Gallery, Larry Williams, Armac (HeroClix hook-up), Carob Sue (who snuck in on Sunday just to say hi), Doug Thigpen, Chris (Pizzaboy) Coleman and Jen, Jamie & Jay, Whitney Matheson, James Sime, Jonathan Solomon, Joe Hughes & Cameron Balint, Eduardo, Richard Foley for extending the comic-con another week, the voluminous Poway Posse (Nathan, Joe, Ben, Barry, Mack, John, Ricky, Robert, Dana, Shaylan and “Laime” by proxy) and I know there were many many more please forgive me but my typing hand is starting to spasm & smoke!

But before I go, I’d be remiss to not give shout-outs to colleagues and allies Kevin Church, JustJenn, Snarkydork, Chris Wisnia & Britton Walters, Ryan Claytor, Paul Friedrich, Ben & Andrea Walker, Daniel & Dawna Steamcrow, Superfro and BavarianErin, Jacie Landeros, David Malki !, Robyn Bremner, John Layman, Deb Aoki, Mick & Holly Gray and Chris Gore (and his daughter Haley). And, of course, to Darlene aka Mrs. The Narrator.

San Diego Comic-Con International is this week (July 23-26, plus Wednesday the 22nd if you have a four-day pass) and IT SOLD OUT! If you’re one of the lucky quarter-million who’ll be there, here’s the skinny:

&#149 Debuting at SDCCI: my THIRD Cool Jerk collected edition Doc Splatter Ominous Omnibus! This book, if I may be so bold, is easily the best $8 you’ll spend at my table! It’s true! 60 pages chock full of EVERY SINGLE Doc Splatter comic strip (1988-2006), plus commentary, sketches, photos, video(!), karaoke(?!?), fashion tips, an anal-retentive index and more!

&#149 Of course I’ll have plenty of copies of Hodabeast (Cool Jerk Vol. 1) and Chickadoowa (Cool Jerk Vol. 2)! Each compilation contains hundreds of strips and lots of extras, like sketches, outtakes, director’s commentary and an index! Each book is $12 or both for $20!

&#149 I’ll also be debuting a brand-new Cool Jerk T-shirt! It’s probably my favorite design so far (it was Darlene’s idea). It comes in a myriad of sizes, in both crew neck and ladies’ tanktops. $15!

&#149 Didn’t get the 24-Hour Comic starring Doc Splatter? last year? I’ll have a few of those, plus stickers, button packs, window decals and other Cool Jerk goods you can’t possibly live without!

&#149 Want a cool freebee? I’ll have new Yuri Tomato character card (fourth in an ongoing series!) and a special somethin’ somethin’ for everyone who buys a Doc Splatter Ominous Omnibus — AN AXE IN THE HEAD! Joke. No, a different freebee.

&#149 If you’ve been to my table before, good news! Team Cool Jerk is in the exact same spot we’ve been since 2003! It has a new look, which should draw peoples’ attentions from across the convention center! And speaking of, here’s a little map I whipped up while you were getting the mail.

&#149 As always, I’m more than happy to junk up your sketchbook with some awesome pencil-and-ink action! Donations to the HornCo Fund are appreciated, of course. =:^)

If you can’t tell, I’m really excited about this year’s ‘Con. I’m looking forward to seeing you there!

ATTENTION PACIFIC NORTHWEST! Cool Jerk will be at Emerald City ComiCon in Seattle, the weekend of April 4-5! Since it’s my first time, please… be gentle.

I’m really stoked to be there, spreading the word and corrupting young minds. I look forward to seeing old friends and meeting/making new ones. Find me in Artists’ Alley, table B-14. Here’s a little map to help you find the BEST PLACE IN THE CONVENTION CENTER!

I’ll have a limited amount of both Hodabeast (Cool Jerk Vol. 1) and Chickadoowa (Cool Jerk Vol. 2) available for sale. They retail for $12 a pop, but if you buy both at Emerald City ComiCon, they’re $20! Suck it, recession!

The Cool Jerk table will also have T-shirts, mini-comics (incl. the 24-Hour Comic starring Doc Splatter), stickers, button packs, window decals and other effluvia for sale!

Sketches — as always — are free, and so are sneak peeks at my third book — the Doc Splatter Omnibus! So unless you’re a sasquatch, stuff some Jacksons in your pockets and come on by!

WonderCon! Cool Jerk is pulling a hat trick at San Francisco’s Moscone Center South Friday through Sunday, February 27-March 1, 2009. This marks three years in a row! Find me in the Artists’ Alley, surrounded by creative freaks, cartooning miscreants and their ilk. If you’re within a 2,500-mile radius of the Bay Area, drop everything and swing by to say “Hi!” More importantly, surrender some folding money on reasonably priced Cool Jerk merchandise, including my Cool Jerk collections Hodabeast and Chickadoowa, T-shirts of many varieties, Cool Jerk button 5-packs, mini-comics and other goods you can’t possibly live without!

Like last year, you can be among the first to see the pre-press proof of my next book! Want a hint? It’s NOT a Cool Jerk book! And as always, I’ll have some freebee stuff at the table, too. Hook the kids with a free sample, get ’em addicted, make the sale. That’s what I always say.

Last week I did some major damage to my right deltoid (no doubt from pumping my fist in the air and giving high-fives during the inauguration), and that meant I could hardly use the computer, much less hold a pencil and brush. So that’s why Cool Jerk is a bit off schedule.

To tide you over, I’d like to steer you to an interview by the gentleman Marc Mason of The Comics Waiting Room. I met Marc several years ago at San Diego Comic-Con, back when I was selling Cool Jerk mini-comics for a buck a pop. After buying a few copies and reading them, he emailed me and offered a suggestion: “Publish a REAL Cool Jerk book, Horn!”

M’kay.

So head on over and check out his site. Bookmark it. Add it to your Google Reader. Follow him on Twitter. All that good stuff.

And once my arm is above 50% I’ll get those new strips up and running.

Today (Nov. 26) marks the in-store debut of my first book, Cool Jerk Vol. 1: Hodabeast! Just in time for Christmas shopping and Black Friday!

So now you can just head over to your Friendly Neighborhood Comics Shop and get your hands on the ‘Beast (and if they don’t have it, fret not because they can reorder it). And since it’s considered a “graphic novel” or “trade paperback,” it might not be where the new comics usually go. So ask for it if you don’t see it. Of course a store-bought Hodabeast is awesome… but if you want one that’s personalized to you, you can always order directly from me!

I know I’ve talked about this book for quite a while — and you already know it’s filled with the first couple hundred Cool Jerk strips, sketches, outtakes, a director’s commentary and an index — so I’ll let someone else do it for me (thanks, Matt!).

I’m pitching in as artist-for-hire on The Rack, an engaging and funny webcomic about a comic-book shop and its quirky staff (think “Clerks” but with word balloons). I finally met its writer, the charming and delightful Kevin Church, at San Diego Comic-Con in July (I say “finally” because I’d been reading “The Rack” and Kevin’s blogs for many months prior to Comic-Con, and we’re pals in various Web 2.0 associations like MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and Flickr). Over a dinner of fish tacos and Horchata he somehow coerced me* to be artist du jour during Halloween week, giving the regular artist Benjamin Birdie a few days off. So go check it out today and through the rest of the week!

For more Kevin Church, go here!
For more Benjamin Birdie, go here!
For much more of The Rack, go here!

*I think it was Cool Jerk-related flattery, but maybe he slipped me a roofie.