OK. So I was off to a bad start. I thought I could do a “pre-comic-con” before the big show but I realized that I would reach more potential buyers IN the San Diego Convention Center.

And voila! My T-shirt says, “You promised to buy one!” Each buyer of Hodabeast sold at Comic-Con got an exclusive Paul Horn sketchbook ashcan FOR FREE!!!111oneone

Things were just smoking at the ‘Con, let me tell you! Here I am being interviewed by Access Hollywood. No, that’s actually David Malki!, the creator of the brilliant Wondermark.

Here’s what I was forced to look at for 36 continuous hours. (L to R – moi, Darlene, ghost writer David Poller, Kim the Catgirl and comics gadfly/illuminati John Layman)

John Layman, apoplectic that he’s getting his Hodabeast signed by yours truly IN THE FLESH!

Sweet baby Jesus! That’s actually Daniel Davis of Steam Crow Press, holding an awesome KlawBerry plushie. Do yourself a favor and buy his stuff. He’s got more talent in his pumpkinhead than most people have in their entire lower abdominal area!

I… I’m really not sure what this gal’s bag is. The hat makes me think “Hogan’s Heroes” and the rest of the outfit makes me think I’ve been a naughty, naughty boy.

“‘ssup, dog! Get some MF’ing Junior Whoppers at my crib, yo!”

It continues to haunt my dreams.

Ghost Rider and one of about a thousand pleather-clad Catwomen seen on the exhibitor floor.

Dr. Girlfriend smoking some Camel unfiltereds. You know… for the voice.

Just about creepy, seeing the “Saw” dude waving to you from the steps of the convention center.

Mary Marvel vs Black Adam.

Ms. Marvel is one of my favorite characters from Marvel Comics, and I’ve never seen anyone even remotely be able to pull off the proper look. She came pretty close (last year, she was Power Girl).

Eisner Award-nominees Sam and Max! I dunno if Steve Purcell was in the Sam costume or not.

Fun little sketch I whipped up for a fan.

…and one of Puppy.

Jonathan Solomon (remember last year’s “Sexy Velma” sketch?) asked for another sketch of another of his fetishes, Harley Quinn.

And a sketch of me by Arthur Baltazar, the artist of Patrick the Wolf Boy. I’ve never met him; Joe and Ben of the “Poway Posse” took my photo with their cell and showed it to Arthur… and 30 seconds later, instant sketch! Thanks, guys!

I don’t know what they were promoting, except Depression-era gangster violence.

Incredibles indeed.

Darlene managed to sneak a shot of Marina Sirtis (Counselor Deanna Troi on “Star Trek TNG”). I have to say, she still looks pretty damn good.

Not a costume, just comedy.

Jon Favreau’s shiny forehead and Robert Downey Jr. discuss how next year’s “Iron Man” movie will possibly be a mild success in the indy film circuit.

OK. Pretend you haven’t already seen the Iron Man mark I armor already on a quarter-million Web sites. Now bow before its awesomeosity.

Enchantress and Loki. I’ve been seeing this female model in various costumes since WonderCon in February, and the guy is at least a three-year veteran of SDCCI.

Another typical view from the Cool Jerk table (L to R: Adam West-style Batman, Loki and Wonder Woman). Hey, ladies… I don’t want to hear it! I’m just giving equal time for that Flash photo in 2005! Trivia: Guy in Loki and Flash costumes? Same person.

Neighbors to the north Jose Cabrera and his make-peepee-in-your-pants-funny “Crying Macho Man” comics. Behind him is his wife Naomi and “El Gato’s” certifiable Michael Aushenker (in blue).

That’s me and Whitney Matheson, from USA Today’s Pop Candy blog.

I must be getting better at this. For the first time in five years of tabling at San Diego Comic-Con International, I didn’t blow out my voice or get sick the following week!

Here’s the report: Hodabeast sold well, although I had to amend my pitch/display day-to-day to maximize sales. The Doc Splatter T-shirts are gone. Many people got a two-dimensional inaction figure, Post-Its or buttons just for getting close to my proximity.

I’d like to say thanks to all my friends and inductees from previous comic-cons who took a few minutes to come by and chat/buy stuff/get some sketches. There’s no way I can mention all of you, but here’s a shout out to Joe, Ben, Barry, Jonathan and Shay of the ever-expanding “Poway Posse,” Jamie and Jay (first to buy the book on Wednesday night), Iowa’s am-badass-adors Erin and Jeremy (OMG! WTF? Thanks!), Lacie, Zachary, Steve Yatson who’s such a Poser (Thanks!), Chris Coleman from Tokyo, Mighty Layman, Marc Mason, Nero, Roman, sketchmongers Jonathan and DrumGirl, Trevor of Wolff and Byrd attorneys-at-law, Kim the legal-sword-wielder cat-girl and her pop, Armando, the David Poller, Tony Stark’s boss Jason Childs (!), Josh (and Bridget by proxy), Earthdog, Jose and Naomi, Mike A., Ryan and so many more!

Special thanks to my gal Darlene, who provided a lot of support, clever ideas, laughs and energy. Most of what was made available at SDCCI wouldn’t have been possible without her.

If you’d like to live vicariously through me, check the photo-heavy recap page.

San Diego Comic-Con International is next week (July 26-29) and here’s the exciting skinny:

<>The first Cool Jerk collected edition — Hodabeast — will be on sale there, and the first 100 folks to buy the ‘Beast will receive a free Cool Jerk sketchbook ashcan! It’s true! But really — sketchbooks are limited to 100 copies so be sure to swing by my table a.s.a.p.!

<> If you’ve been to my table before, good news: Team Cool Jerk is in the exact same spot as the past four years. Here’s a little map I whipped up while you were on the toilet.

<> Team Cool Jerk will also have cotton body armor, ashcans, stickers, window decals and other effluvia for sale. What? Two-dimensional inaction figures of Armpit and Puppy?!? How cool is that?

<> As always, I’m more than happy to junk up your sketchbook with some awesome pencil action! Sketches are totally 100% free… THIS year. =:^)

Here’s where I camped for five days of Comic-Con International. On Saturday I wheeled out the heavy artillery: the extend-o-matic Cool Jerk banner in the background (now visible from 1/4 mile away), and the “ASK ME ABOUT MY FUNBAGS” t-shirt. A lot of people did ask me about my funbags. Others just stared at my funbags. I even let some people gently touch my funbags.

Supergirl, Robin, Batman and Batgirl stopped by to administer some justice.

I don’t know why Hawkgirl and Poison Ivy joined the Dynamic Duo… but I’d let Batgirl slap the Batcuffs on me any day.

And speaking of Batgirl, meet Yvonne Craig! She’s adorable and was really tolerant of folks like me coming by and posing for photos with her. Woof!

Just as adorable is this sketch of my gal Darlene by Arthur Baltazar, the artist of Patrick the Wolf Boy.

Ming the Merciless, Martian Girl and Barbarella popped by the concession area for some pretzels.

Meet Jen Prescott. um… I guess she’s dressed as Robin and her stuffed tiger is wearing a Batman mask. And Charlos Gary, close personal friend and cartoonist (“Working it Out”)

Wonder Woman about three seconds from kicking my ass.

Kirk Alyn-style Superman and Green Lantern (the dude dressed as GL is a pro; last year he was Flash, Hulk, Electro, Vision and Mr. Fantastic. I also saw him as Angel this year).

My neighbor to the right, Phil Foglio. Name sound familiar? It’d better; Holmes has probably been doing the indy comics thing since before you were born!

Mystique, as she should’ve looked in the movie. Anyone in Hollywood who says “costumes in the comics just won’t translate to the silver screen” needs to come to SDCCI.

Beast…. or maybe he shoud be called “Sweaty Yeti.” OK, Hollywood doesn’t need to see this guy; they did fine with Kelsey Grammer’s makeup.

Brandon Routh should’ve been wearing hornrim glasses and a fedora with a PRESS sign tucked into the band.

Power Girl. Woof. With Martian Girl and Mystique, among the best costumes at Comic-Con this year (at least that I saw).

Woof. Once again. I have no idea who they are or where they came from… but their FREAKING MOUTHS MOVED WHEN THEY TALKED!

Catwoman checking to see if the photo made her butt look too big.

Meet Zachary Simon. And meet Armpit Beachhead (hair courtesy of Photoshop). And did you see Charlos Gary a few photos back? Say hello to Manhattan. I’m holding open auditions for Puppy Fizgig, by the way. I’m dead serious. Must be a Cool Jerk fan. E-mail me.

Jonathan Solomon — a long-time ‘Jerk addict — handed me his sketchbook and said, “Can you draw me a sexy Velma? You know, from Scooby-Doo?” I had 5 minutes to spare, so voila!

She’s a Supergirl, all right. She had all the poses down pat. Last year she was Hawkgirl.

This will be somebody’s birthday gift in 2007, methinks. Me heart Adam Hughes (the artist whose designs this sculpture is based on).

Again, the Puppy thong was a sure-fire crowd-pleaser. Say hello to Camilla d’Errico, a brand-new ‘Jerk and FREAKING INCREDIBLE ARTIST! She should have gone through the brainwashing and mind-control chip implantation by now….

Half of the “Poway Posse” — Nathan Pierce, Joseph & Ben DiAnna — dropped off another monetary memento. Remember a couple years back when they trashed that Five Spot? Well, at least they’re using foreign currency nowadays. Thanks, guys!

Sigh. Another year, another Comic-Con International in San Diego. Another exhausting five days of playing pitchman and getting through on adrenaline and minimal sleep. And another five days with my voice totally thrashed.

Wouldn’t miss it for the world.

In a nutshell, SDCCI was really terrific for me and Cool Jerk. I’m almost totally out of air fresheners and ashcans. Many t-shirts are gone and may not be reprinted. The Post-Its were a smash and so were the Happy Happy Funbags.

I had a mental checklist of Cool Jerk fans & friends that I expected to see, and I saw pretty much all of ’em at one point or another. I’d like to say thanks. I know SDCCI is gi-freaking-normous and there’s so much to see and do… and it means a lot that you all took a few minutes to swing by and chat/buy stuff/get some sketches. There’s no way I can mention all of you, but “hey!” to a chunk of the Poway Posse (Nathan, Ben, Joseph, Barry), Jamie, Sister Mary Shovelface and Superfro, Chris C. the Tokyo Pizzaboy, Layman, Marc Mason, Allen, Robert the Adult Swimmer, sketchmongers Jonathan and Jonathan, Will “Thwip” Bento, Kim the caffeinated cat-girl and her pop, the Louisiana Pines, Charlos and so many more!

Special thanks to my gal Darlene, who provided a lot of support and behind-the-scenes brainpower. I really appreciate that she spent so much time with me behind the table, luring unsuspecting comics fans into our web of comedy. Despite the hours she spent working the table, she was able to meet two of her idols: Yvonne Craig (actress who played Batgirl on TV’s “Batman”) and Carmine Infantino (artist who brought Batgirl to the comics as a result of Yvonne’s character’s popularity). She also blogged for Comixpedia.com

If you’d like to live vicariously through me, check the photo-heavy recap page.

Oh, the sacrifices I make!

This weekend is my 20-year class reunion, which is being held in Carson City, Nevada. And this weekend is also San Diego Comic-Con International.

I really tried to figure out a plan where I could attend both, including flying up to Reno this afternoon (Friday), renting a car, driving 30 miles to the capital and saying “Hi!” to scores of old friends and former classmates… THEN turning around and driving back to Reno and flying out at midnight (or whenever the latest flight out is) so I could be back at the ‘Con by 8am Saturday.

Impossible. =:^(

So the upshot is: I’m at Comic-Con, all you beautiful babies! It’s a freaking gas! I’ve been having a great time catching up with all you Cool Jerk subscribers (some have been addicted to Armpit & Puppy’s shenanigans since last year’s ‘Con, some since 1992!) and I hope my voice can survive until Sunday evening! I’ve been selling CJ shirts, Funbags, button packs, window decals, ashcans (comic booklets) and doing as many free sketches as my wrist will allow! And that was just yesterday! There’s still three more days left!

So I just want to say thanks to all of you. It was really hard to R.S.V.P. a “not going to attend” for the reunion, but because of you Cool Jerk readers and sleeper agents, it’s worth it.

New strip here, Chester! And check out the Morgue if you need to catch up on Armpit’s hairstylist story. Tidbit: “The New Lou” is about 80% accurately based on the gal who cuts my hair. And I had two sketch requests for her yesterday!