I can’t believe it’s over… and I didn’t come down with ConSARS!

This year marked the 10th year of Cool Jerk at San Diego Comic-Con International, but it was my 30th year in a row. Go ahead. Let that sink in.

Let’s start with my tablescape. This photo was taken mere seconds before the doors flew open on Wednesday evening (Preview Night). Looking pretty spiffy, with that new table throw and some vertical shelving on the right. As mandated by law, our neighbor to the left was once again Jose Cabrera and his comic, Crying Macho Man (sharing the table with him was Jim Lujan). Lovely people!

The new comic this year was The Girl with the Donut Tattoo. You can get the 411 on this elsewhere and on my blog. But guess what? Late Sunday afternoon, we sold out! (You can order a copy at the Cool Jerk store, but will have to wait until August for second-wave orders.) Yay, Darlene! We did it! >proud< And now, onto the people!
This was definitely the year of the black Lycra/Spandex/pleather catsuit. In fact, you couldn’t swing a dead cat without smacking a Batwoman, Catwoman, Black Widow or Wasp cosplayer. I imagine many gals chose their character depending on if they had the goggles and whip or belt and bracelets.

Here’s the first of several Hunger Games cosplayers. Katniss here wins because of her resemblance to Jennifer Lawrence. Darlene and I each did a double-take. So that’s a quad-take, I guess.

Another popular costume this year — to my surprise — was Iron Fist. Here are three I spotted (and bonus Luke Cage/Power Man in the third pic, for good measure. Don’t know why he’s throwing a kick, though). I asked each one “…is your fist like unto a thing of iron?” They all said, “Yes! Of course!”

I love when I can get celebrity endorsements for my books… even if the celebrities are fictional. Here are Ben Grimm (Thing) and Amora (Enchantress), each giving props to a book…

…and here’s Betsy Braddock (Psylocke) and Shia LaBeouf, also posing with some excellent comics. Waitaminnit! That’s really Shia LaBeouf. OK, I guess that’s one celebrity endorsement. But hold on…!

Knowing Anthony Bourdain was going to be at Comic-Con to promote his comic “Get Jiro,” I made sure to join Darlene in line and meet the man in person. Darlene goes into more detail on her blog, but it was great to meet Tony. We gave him a copy of our comic The Girl with the Donut Tattoo (which features him on one page) and a Cool Jerk Canvas Panel (also featuring him from a 2008 Cool Jerk). He was thrilled and said, “Nigella Lawson! Awesome! (she’s also featured on the same page). Best swag ever!” Nice guy; I think he was humbled by how many people appreciate pop culture, food and his role in both worlds.

At the Marvel booth each day, cosplayers would gather for group photoshoots. Here we have a mostly-mutant ensemble: Mystique, Polaris, Scarlet Witch, Kitty Pryde & Lockheed (on shoulder), Rogue, Gambit, Wolverine, White Queen, Black Widow and Wasp (with Psylocke and Hope Summers in foreground). I recognize cosplayers Yaya Han and R1ddle (Psylocke and Wasp, respectively) but the other identities remain shrouded in mystery.

I love it when a group of friends get together and cosplay en masse. Here’s the cast to Archer.

Here’s a group doing classic Star Trek (incl. pal and fellow exhibitor Dan Bois as the captain on the far right).

And on one night after the convention, Darlene and I went to Sultan Shawarma in the Gaslamp. Who did we see chowing down in the back of the restaurant but THE (movie) AVENGERS! Holy buttnuggets! It was the best! Clockwise from left: Hawkeye, Black Widow, Hulk (GRRR! HULK SMASH PUNY SHAWARMA!), S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Nick Fury, S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Coulson, Tony Stark (Iron Man’s arc reactor was on her tank top), Thor, S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Maria Hill, Captain America… and Loki was forced to eat on the floor BECAUSE LOKI IS EVIL! (If you haven’t seen “The Avengers” and/or didn’t stay all the way through the end credits, then you’ll probably miss how awesome this was to see in real life!)

Speaking of, here are two cosplayers dressed as two of my favorite Avengers: Ms. Marvel and Scarlet Witch (Darlene and I chatted a bit with Scarlet Witch while eating our shawarmas back at the convention center al fresco… Scarlet apparently was there just before us because she saw the Avengers there, too!)

Say hello to BBC’s Sherlock, the backside of Silver Surfer (also Plastic Man), and Jem, reporting live from the Knight Rider display!

Here’s a little something for the small fry — some ladies representing cel, digital and stop-motion animation. Can you name the movies?

The “Crossplay” fad was as hot as ever. Here we have some Lucasfilm (Slave Leia, Han and Leia) and Marvel (Cyclops, Captain America) cosplayers bending genders.

The great outdoors! Fresh air at last!

Outside of the convention center is a great place to mingle with scores of cosplayers. Here we have Moonstone (dressed in Ms. Marvel’s original outfit — long story, kids), Earthworm Jim and Jean Grey in her vintage Marvel Girl outfit.

Here we have world-eater Galactus (also: Silver Surfer, his herald, orbiting him) and Black Panther.

Time to give DC Comics some love. Here we have a collection of heroic young defenders — Miss Martian, Batgirl, Ravage and Robin.

And fresh in from Gotham City… aw, c’mon. You know who they are. Also: A startling version of Supergirl (Superwoman?) and Deathstroke the Terminator.

Sometimes Darlene would sneak away from the table and take some pix. Here she encountered some Asgardians: Sif (with Huntress in the background), Thor Girl and Beta Ray Bill. Thor Girl is an actual character and not a crossplayer, although we saw plenty of ladies dressed as Thor.

Also on one of her treks, Darlene spotted the cast of Fringe exiting an interview. Coming down the stairs are Lance Riddick, Anna Torv and John Noble. Cool — we love that show!

Myself, I find it difficult to leave the table for more than a few minutes at a time. I hate thinking I might miss a sale at the table, or miss seeing a friend wander up. So I was pretty lucky to get a few shots within a stone’s throw from the CJ table, like these of Deadman, Illyana Rasputin (Magik of the New Mutants) and Jan, Jace and Blip (Space Ghost). Incredible costumes, all!

Also spotted some excellent costumes of Hayata and Muramatsu from Ultraman and the Gentleman Ghost!

I always do free sketches for anyone who wants to ask. This year I was approached by several people, and one fellow had a particular theme in mind: “Jesus Christ vs a stegosaurus.” So there you go.

No recap is complete without an appearance by the Poway Posse (or, at least, a few of them)!

And I think I’ll end this year’s comic-con recap with a nice story about Angela Racoosin, who revealed herself as a HUGE Godzilla fan. Comparing notes about our collections, I discovered that she didn’t have the Godzilla obituary I did with John Layman for The San Diego Union-Tribune back in 1995. I told her to come back the next day and voila! I sold her one of my few remaining Godzilla sections I had stashed away in the archive. Another satisfied Godzilla fan! Thanks, Angela!

This year marks Cool Jerk’s 10th year of tabling at San Diego Comic-Con International, and my 30th in-a-row within these doors! Let me tell you what’s in store at the Cool Jerk table:

First and foremost, this year’s new comic is The Girl with the Donut Tattoo, which I co-created with Darlene. It’s her first comic (she wrote it) and we’re unveiling it at SDCCI. It’s $5 a la carte, or FREE with a $40 purchase at the Cool Jerk table! Read more about it here! We have only 100 copies available, so it’s first-come, first-served!

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Speaking of, I have less than 15 copies of Cool Jerk OMG Color! Vol. 1 from last year, which is $4 a pop or FREE if you buy Hodabeast (Vol. 1) and Chickadoowa (Vol. 2).

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Available now!

Remember last fall when I did my second 24-Hour Comic? Well, now you can get one. It’s a reasonably priced $2!

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Another item that’s perfect for your house, office or motor home mobile meth lab is the Cool Jerk Canvas Panel. I’ve added a few NEW panel choices to the series I started in 2010, and I’m sure you’ll want to buy 8-9 at a time! $15 each.

ALSO, I have a premium item for SDCCI— the Longform Canvas Panel! This is really limited to what you see here, in both black and white variations. They run $50 apiece. NOTE: Want your favorite strip on a canvas? Worry not— I will also take orders at the show!

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And what would Cool Jerk be without high-quality cotton body armor? Available in a myriad of sizes for both guys and gals are THREE shirts: the 20th Anniversary CJ shirt, which has probably your favorite character on it (above), the JERKea shirt, a sure-fire crowd-pleaser (above), and the tried-and-true Body Shots variety (go here to see that one). The JERKea shirt is $20, the other ones are $15.

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I also have all the other items you could ever possibly want, incl. ALL my books, Sharpie original art breakdowns, stickers, buttons and the like. We’re in the same spot we’ve always been, right by the communal baths. Here’s a little map I whipped up while you were flossing.

Click it to JUMP IN THERE!

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Hope to see you there!

Going to San Diego Comic-Con but don’t want to lug around your mint condition 1974 Six Million Dollar Man lunchbox? Don’t sweat it — Team Cool Jerk’s got your back.

Click it to super-size it!

Here’s a handy lil’ map I whipped up for Darlene’s blog, which I highly recommend visiting to get the 411 on all these eateries. We started this last year as a public service, especially for our out-of-town friends who sometimes resort to eating concession “food” at exorbitant prices. As for me, I’ll be having only the finest Kobe beef cheeseburgers, topped with foie gras and tapir bacon imported from Malaysia. Mmm… tapir…!

Get a copy TODAY!

Look who made the cover of The San Diego Union-Tribune’s (aka U-T San Diego) Food Section!

That’s pretty thrilling, since Darlene and I both used to work there (and that’s where we met) AND it’s out on the first day of Comic-Con. It’s a really good and accurate write-up by Candice Norwood. Go pick up a copy at your neighborhood liquor store, Starbucks or newspaper rack!

This year’s offering from HornCo Press — the fine comics publisher who brought you those spiffy Cool Jerk and Doc Splatter books over the years — is The Girl with the Donut Tattoo.

It’s Darlene’s first comic (or book for that matter). She wrote it as a comic companion to her food blog, My Burning Kitchen. It contains several stories about our food-related adventures and amusements told in comic form. That’s where I come in— I drew the whole thing up. Not only will you find comics (of course), but there are some infographics, photos, recipes and a dueling creators’ commentary!

We’re really happy with how The Girl with the Donut Tattoo came out, especially since this is Darlene’s first foray into creating comics. I’m proud of her — she took to comics-writing like a duck takes to water. She’s been a comics fan/reader since childhood and I know she’s a lot more excited about this project than she lets on. In fact, she already has ideas for future volumes!

We’re debuting The Girl with the Donut Tattoo at San Diego Comic-Con next week; find us at the Cool Jerk table, Small Press K10 (the same spot since 2003). Please come by and pick one up! They’re $5 a pop, with a VERY limited print run.

(I’ll chat more about Comic-Con, Cool Jerk and special deals in the next blog post)

Because I forgot to have one taken last year, here’s a pic of me at the Cool Jerk table. There were lots of cool stuffs to get this year, including a dozen new Canvas Panels, two new styles of t-shirts and OMG Color! Vol. 1. I also introduced the Über Canvas Panel, a premium product I’m offering that you can order with your favorite strip! Here’s a pic of me WEARING A COLLARED SHIRT!! with long-time reader and pal Richard Foley, who always makes a harrowing pilgrimage to Comic-Con! (Holy shit I look just like my Commentary avatar from 1996!)

And surprise! Lucky Cool Jerk readers and patrons got a delicious Cool Jerk sugar cookie, courtesy Jenny Wenny Cakes. They were in extremely limited quantity and you pretty much had to buy something from me or cash in your Subscriber Coupon to get one!

Our tablemate to the left was Jose Cabrera (Crying Macho Man), who was without his wonderful wife Naomi this weekend. Instead, he partnered with Jim Lujan, an animator and all-around funny guy. To our right was Ben Seto and his bro-in-law Patrick. Ben’s comic is Skull Bunnies and Patrick was representing his wife’s pillow-quilting gig. Above is a drawing Ben did of Puppy!

Here’s one of Darlene’s obsessions this year: Tokidoki’s Marvel Frenzies. She was determined to not leave Comic-Con without getting all of the Fantastic Four. Mission accomplished!

That’s all well and good, but I know why you’re here— to see all the crazy costumes!

Let’s start with a mash-up. Here’s Star Wars meets Pulp Fiction.

And here’s one for the ladies! Say hello to patriotic and sparkly vampire R.Patz (“Twilight”) wearing Captain America shorts HA! MADE YOU LOOK!!

Here’s a trio of Doctor Who cosplayers: TARDIS, River Song and Amy Pond (in her policeman’s get-up). I’m happy to report Doctor Who cosplayers were abundant this year, and there wasn’t a single Johnny Depp/Capt. Jack Sparrow to be seen!

I always felt safe, knowing Nick Fury and his S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were on patrol.

Here’s Doctor Doom, quenching his thirst. I like how the monarch of Latveria is such a bad-ass that he can walk around with a handmade Wolverine man-purse and no one’s gonna get in his grill.

Here’s Firestar, Alpha Flight’s team leader Vindicator, H.A.M.M.E.R. Deputy Director Victoria Hand and… some gal in a red dress.

This is great! Here are about half of Darkseid’s Female Furies (Big Barda, Lashina and Granny Goodness). I’ve seen other pics online that includes Darkseid himself, along with Mad Harriet and Stompa (they might’ve all been at Starbucks or in the bathroom at this time).

The following photos I like to call “Crappy Old Nikon Blur-O-Rama!” Here’s Jason Isaacs (l.) of the Harry Potter films, and Rowdy Roddy Piper (r.), notorious for drop-kicking Cyndi Lauper back in the days of MTV/Wrestlemania.

Here are some professional cosplayers: On the left we have Kit Quinn as Dr. Mrs. The Monarch (along with The Monarch). On the right is Yaya Han as the Asgardian warrior Sif (along with an unidentified Black Cat).

As Darlene and I took the trolley to the convention center one morning, we shared the ride with Thor and another Sif, Scarlet Witch and Jessica Nigri as Anya Stroud from Gears of War 3. (You might remember Jessica as Pikachu a few years back.)

Here are some characters I’ve never seen cosplayed (l to r): Galacta (the daughter of Galactus) and Rojhaz (from Marvel 1602), animated-style Beetlejuice and Lydia Deetz, Judy and Jane Jetson. Bravo, all!

Darlene took these pics of probably the biggest gun on the floor.

One of my favorite crossplayers, Nicki Catterlin as Booster Gold, who ditched Skeets this year and is instead joined by BFF Blue Beetle (played by Mary Stanfield). Here’s Booster and Skeets in 2008.

Not to be outdone, here are some more crossplayers. Actually, they’re cosplaying DC’s Earth-11 heroes Green Arrow (Little Hotshot), Batwoman (Tallest Silver), Plastic Woman, Vixen and Flash (Catherine Pow). Kit Quinn was pulling double-duty this weekend as Superwoman (not pictured). More pics of them at this year’s WonderCon here!

Bring on the mutants! Here we have Dark Phoenix, X-23, Wolverine, Emma Frost and the Beast (doing the splits). Beast might look familiar— here he is in 2006.

Saturday was interrupted by some cosplayers who got into a fight outside of the convention center.

Here’s John Layman and Rob Guillory, fresh off their second Eisner Award win in as many years. And by “fresh” I mean “hungover.” If you’re not reading Chew, you should.

Say hello to Chris and Heather Barber, friends and former Union-Tribune co-workers of ours. This was their first SDCC and they LOVED it! (Also pictured is their entourage whose names I forget.)

Sean and Lacie came by with a print-out of the Cool Jerk strip I sneaked them into earlier this year, and I signed it for them. Lacie has come by the table probably every year since 2003, and Sean the year after (I know this because they’ve been subscribers that long). I’m a little sketchy on the details, but I think one of those Comic-Cons was one of their first dates… and they married last year!

Darlene and cartoonist Emi Lenox, discussing the convention, fashion tips or food. It was cool to meet Emi, especially after reading her book Emi Town. We’re glad she took some time to hunt us down and say “Hi!!”

As you can tell, Thor was a pretty popular costume choice this year. The best part of this photo is the guy in the background peeing on the wall. (Joke— don’t sue, Mr. Allegedly Peeing in Public Guy.)

Here’s a couple who Darlene officially refers to as “Sexy Chewbacca and Emo Han Solo.”

Isn’t he the most adorable lil’ serial killer you ever did see??

I love having cosplayers pose with my books. Here’s Tootsie, one of the best and most original costumes of the weekend! She told us “Some people think I’m cosplaying Ugly Jessica Rabbit.”

And here are… well, I actually don’t have a clue. Let’s call her Silver Bodypaint Alien Sexbot and her friend Ms. Fishnets. I took a photo of Ms. Fishnets holding my book Bimboozled last year, when she was dressed either as Emma Frost/White Queen or just forgot to put on all her clothes (the jury is still out). Note the dude in the background also taking advantage of the photo-op (yes, they were wearing thongs).

I think what we need is a palate-cleanser. Here are three lovely Disney princesses— Ariel, Belle and Snow White.

Darlene got to wander the exhibit hall quite a bit, sometimes to find friends, run errands, get lunch or do some shopping. One thing I look forward to each year is getting the new ashcan sketchbook by Adam Hughes. This year, Darlene was able to get Adam to do a sketch for me. She called to ask who I would want. I always wanted an Adam Hughes sketch! My mind started to race— Should I ask for one of Darlene’s or my favorite characters like Susan Storm or Barbara Gordon? Should I ask for someone obscure like Aurora of Alpha Flight? I decided on Puppy… and voila! *kermit flail* HOLY CRAP ADAM HUGHES DREW MY CHARACTER! *gets the vapors, faints*

Darlene also got to meet comics demigod Walt Simonson. “He was really, really nice!” Darlene says. She told him that I thought his run on Thor was one of the defining moments in Marvel Comics. He asked where I was and Darlene told him I was working my table. AND I WAS! >sob!< I met Walt back in 1985— he graciously autographed for me my set of every Thor comic he’d written and drawn (up to that point) PLUS drew a Thor for me on a comics backing board.

OK. Show of hands— who remembers “V?” I’m talking the original series from the ’80s, not the remake from last year. These guys rocked the freaking casbah. They even brought rats to snack on!

No convention is complete without a zombie outbreak in the Gaslamp Quarter.

As we were eating dinner alfresco outside Ralphs, Aquaman and, um, female Aquaman wandered by. I hope they weren’t offended— we were eating fresh-fried swai.

The end of the show. Here we are, packing it up and hauling it out. BONUS: I’ve attached my only existing photo from SDCCI 2003, the first year Cool Jerk exhibited in Small Press. Darlene hasn’t changed one bit in nine years!

As Comic-Con drew to a close, another life goal of mine was achieved. After years of searching, I finally found Waldo.

For more coverage, check out Darlene’s food-related Comic-Con blog post here!

San Diego Comic-Con International 2011 is in the rear-view mirror, and I caught the ConSARS/Nerd Flu as always. But I battled it hard and as of today, I’m nearly back to 100%! Lots of fun, but lots of work. It’s actually pretty grueling to work a convention, especially when it’s the hemisphere’s largest. Darlene and I took a slew of photos and I’ll get to those later in my annual SDCCI Photogasm Recap, as usual.

This year’s ’Con I debuted Cool Jerk OMG Color! Vol. 1, two new t-shirts and a dozen new varieties of Cool Jerk Canvas Panels. I was cautious of the economy and that I wasn’t offering a $12 book this year, but I must’ve hit the right chord with attendees because this year was my second-best in nine years of tabling in Small Press! Huzzah! That means I’m having THREE toppings on my pizza tonight!

This year’s coupon — available ONLY to subscribers — was like “Let’s Make a Deal.” With a coupon, you could either get a couple bucks off anything on the table, a character sketch or Door Number Three — the mystery gift! One reader got a Capri Sun. Another got an out-of-print limited edition Cool Jerk ashcan from 2007. Another got some Cool Jerk Post-It Notes and another got Puppy thong undiepants. Such is the way I thank you for supporting small press and independent cartoonists, and for being a subscriber!

ALSO— did you get a Cool Jerk cookie? Attendees who checked in at my table via foursquare and bought something got a free Cool Jerk cookie, courtesy Jenny Wenny Cakes. They were delicious!

The main attractions at Comic-Con were the “Twilight,” “Torchwood,” “Doctor Who” and “Glee!” panels, along with pretty much every upcoming movie in the next 12 months (“Avengers,” “Men in Black 3,” “Amazing Spider-Man,” the next Dark Knight movie, etc.). There was no shortage of Harry Potter or Captain America fans, either. In fact, I can’t recall seeing a single Johnny Depp wannabe from the “Pirates of the Caribbean” series. Maybe that’s all played out??

It’s always exciting to visit with friends who I usually only see at Comic-Con: Richard Foley & Karen, Jay Halili and Jamie Lim, Marc Mason, Eric and Jocelyn, Wendy the Rollergirl, Lacie and Sean Youtsey (married since last year’s ‘Con), Dennis Schamp, Kim the Catgirl & her mom, Bethany & Denzel and Marcus, Brian G., Marian, Bridget and Josh, Larry C., Dan B., Nathan, Barry, John, Ben, Joesph, Shaylan and Ty (of the Poway Posse), LEGO Maniac David Oakes, Jonathan Solomon, Peg and Ken Gartin, Mason, Erin, Linda, Jenny, J.P., Dana and her pal who loves Scooby-Doo, Demeterius, Brian G., a slew of former co-workers (Heather & Chris Barber, Michelle Breier, Rose & Jeff Dillon, Luis Monteagudo, Cristina Martinez Byvik, David Poller and Steve Schmidt), Apri, Steve Yatson and Fahim Niaz from Poser/Manga Studio. I also met Marianne (Gina’s neighbor), Brian Guthrie, Kalyan Pokala, Liz Ohanesian, Melodie Tao, Lauren & Dom from Australia, Sarah from Poway, Greg S., Randy, R.C., Lee Anne Moore and her Oceanside posse, Makenna and Jonathan and jeez probably a hundred other attendees! I also spotted Armando (who always stops by but this year we missed each other) and cosplayer pals Kit Quinn, Tallest Silver, Betty Felon and Jessica Nigri.

I got to see/say hi to/chat with colleagues JustJenn, Eric & Jodi Kurland, Sarah Kuhn and Jeff Chen, Daniel and Dawna Davis, Ryan Claytor, Ben Walker & Amanda, Jose Cabrera, Bavarian Erin and Superfro, Deb Aoki, James & Rebecca Hicks, Audra Furuichi and Scott Yoshinaga, John Layman, Keith Knight, Chet Phillips, Justin Orr, P.J. Perez, Leslie Levings and Allen Passalaqua.

I also got to meet fellow creators Neil Segura, Emi Lenox, Sarah and Beau Straub, Jim Lujan and our neighbors Ben Seto & Patrick.

It’s nearly impossible to mention you all. I hope I didn’t leave out anyone who’s reading this!

Special thanks goes to the other half of Team Cool Jerk, my wonderful wife Darlene! She’s becoming a veteran at table management and many people came by specifically to meet her in person. MWAH!

Photos to come!

It’s that time of year! I’m talking San Diego Comic-Con International, and Cool Jerk will be there OF COURSE!

So I bet you’re wondering, “What’s at the table THIS year, homeslice?” Well, I have a few offerings that will likely make you squeal “OMG!”

The first is the debut of Cool Jerk OMG Color! Vol. 1! Sorry about all the exclamation points, there. It’s a companion comic that contains EVERY Sunday-sized strip from Hodabeast and Chickadoowa… IN COLOR FOR THE FIRST TIME! Now that they’re in hand, I can attest that they look specTACular! They’re $4 each UNLESS you buy a Canvas Panel, T-shirt or both Hodabeast and Chickadoowa… then it’s FREE! (One freebee per qualifying purchase, please, since the print run is EXTREMELY LIMITED to 100 copies!)

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Another item that’s perfect for your house, office or motor home is the Cool Jerk Canvas Panel. I’ve added a dozen NEW panel choices to the series I started last year, and I’m sure you’ll want to buy 8-9 at a time! $15 each.

ALSO for the first time this year, I have a premium item for SDCCI— the Longform Canvas Panel! This is really limited to what you see here, in both black and white variations. They run $60 apiece. NOTE: Want your favorite strip on a canvas? Worry not— I will also take orders at the show!

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And did I mention T-shirts? Yes! Available in a myriad of sizes for both guys and gals are TWO shirts! The 20th Anniversary CJ shirt, which has probably your favorite character on it (trust me on this) and the JERKea shirt, which I beta-tested last summer to overwhelming acclaim! The CJ shirt runs $15 and JERKea is $20.

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I also have all the other items you’ve been jonesing for in years past, incl. ALL my books, Sharpie original art breakdowns, stickers, buttons and the like. We’re in the same spot we’ve always been, right by the Sweaty Cosplayer Hose-Down Station. Here’s a little map I whipped up while you were clipping your toenails.

(Click it to GET INTO THAT BAD BOY!)

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And starting tomorrow, be sure to check in to my table via foursquare for a special treat!

Hope to see you there!

Going to San Diego Comic-Con but don’t want to lug around your Goldie Gold and Action Jack lunchbox? Don’t sweat it — Team Cool Jerk’s got your back.

Click it to super-size it!

Here’s a handy lil’ map I whipped up for Darlene’s blog. We’ve been meaning to do this for a few years as a public service, especially for our out-of-town friends who sometimes resort to eating concession “food” at exorbitant prices. As for me, I’ll be having only the finest Kobe beef cheeseburgers, topped with foie gras and tapir bacon imported from Malaysia. Mmm… tapir…!

Figure I’d start things off with the usual shot of the Cool Jerk table, but as I was going through our photos, I realized I didn’t take a photo of the table! So here’s the next best thing: a pic of some Starfleet cadets with a Photobomb thrown in free of charge.

Here’s Kady and Keith, a couple of long-time Cool Jerk readers, with their haul. Keith got himself Bimboozled (and a FREE T-Waster print, because he had a subscriber coupon), plus a couple of the canvas panels. I debuted the panels this year to much interest and fanfare. It was interesting (to say the least) to see which ones sold. (Memo to self: Must do more comics that feature zombies, boob jokes, ultraviolence and John C. Reilly.)

Many of the attendees’ costumes are half-assed and unfortunate. Melissa Felton’s Huntress was NOT one of them. Bravo!

Now this is pretty cool. David Oakes — a certifiable LEGO Maniac — made a custom LEGO of Armpit. Lovin’ it! He promised a Puppy LEGO is just around the corner.

Speaking of LEGO Maniacs, here’s the charming and delightful John Layman, author of Chew. I’m not sure if this is before or after he won the Eisner Award for Best New Series. I’d say after because it looks like he’s been celebrating, but he ALWAYS looks like he’s been celebrating. Hearty congratulations, John! It was serendipitous that he wrote Bimboozled’s foreword for me.

Lil’ Terminators. Skynet/CyberDyne keeps making ’em smaller and smaller. I guess they go through less titanium alloy that way.

Again, excellent costuming. Yes, we’ve seen Indiana Jones. But I’ve never seen his dad… OR the old knight from the Last Crusade! “We named the dog ‘Indiana!'”

Little bit of crossplay, with a female Blade. Or maybe Daywalkers have infiltrated “The View?” Never did get the story. Love the teeth!

I, uh… sorry. Lost my train of thought there. Unfortunately, there is no way to crop this picture without damaging the artistic integrity of the composition. I’d thought this lass was actually veteran cosplayer Ruby Rocket dressed as Emma Frost/White Queen, but by Day 3 I was pretty sure she was just a gal who liked wearing underwear in public. Note the inset: It would’ve been HILARIOUS if her fingers were just a little bit longer, so as to cover up the second “O” in the book title.

Here’s a lovely Sue Storm, drawn for me by Ming Doyle in the front of her sketchbook. This is the first sketch I’ve had drawn for me in many a year! *blushes* (the Scotch tape effect is part of the printed sketchbook) She also drew Darlene a Barbara Gordon Batgirl. ORIGINAL ART IS AWESOME YO!

This is a fun after-hours photo of Matt Groening being interviewed by Scott Thompson (from The Kids in the Hall).

A few minutes later, we left the convention center. Oxygen yay! BATMAN RETURNS (to Hall C) — apparently he was called back into the convention center to thwart some villainy.

The crowds were cray-cray, as you can imagine. The sweet spot of this photo is Jack checking out the gal in the lime green shortshorts.

We don’t need another hero! These cosplayers ROCKED. Extra credit to Mad Max who screamed a profanity-heavy tirade into his cell phone.

It takes some extra moxie to pull off Luke Cage: Power Man (circa 1977). And the wings on Hawkgirl are WAY above-and-beyond the call of cosplay duty.

Here’s the wife-beater variant of Logan with Sailor Maan.

Here’s some eye candy for the ladies: Chris Hemsworth, who will be better known as Thor come May 2011.

Marvel Studios had a gigantic display. Actual-size Asgard Throneroom. Here are the helmets of Loki, Odin and Thor. In a neat trick, the display cases were usually fogged up with dry ice, so you couldn’t see what was contained within. They also had the Destroyer armor (hidden inside the Twilight Sword behind Odin’s throne) and — apparently — the Infinity Gauntlet. *thorgasm*

Something for everyone! Here’s a rubber dress-wearing Daphne (Scooby-Doo) for Jonathan Solomon. The previous page had a lot of Sharpie marker bleed-through, so that’s why there are little black and red spots here and there. (The guy who drew on the previous page? Me).

Darlene stumbled upon Joshua Jackson — one of her Island Guys ifyouknowwhutI’msayin’andIthinkyoudo — while getting lunch at the neighborhood Ralph’s. Double-Jay (as Darlene now refers to him) was holding “Pacey-Con” across from the convention center, attracting female fans far and wide. Darlene even got an autographed 6-page fanfic “Pacey and Joey Have 6 Kids.” D was walking on clouds for days, until she learned it was all being filmed for a Funny or Die short. Luckily (?) she didn’t make the final cut. More of this tale from Darlene’s point of view here!

Riverdale High represent! Betty, Archie and Veronica stopped by for some chocolate malts. Note the blue hilights in Ms. Lodge’s hairdo.

Pretty much the creepiest super-hero costume I saw was Red Lantern Mera at the DC booth. I can’t confirm if she was puking blood or not prior to this photo.

Couples! Here we have Tim Burton-style Queen and Mad Hatter, Spock (XX chromosome variant) and an Orion Slave Girl, and Mary Marvel with Captain Marvel. I know I’ve been going to A LOT of these shows when I start to immediately recognize cosplayers in different roles. You might recognize the Marvels from previous ‘cons, when she was Batgirl and Black Canary and he was Kirk Alyn-style Superman.

Squirrel Girl! Didn’t see Tippy-Toe or Monkey Joe, however. I think Kevin Church voted this the best costume at the ‘Con.

Here’s my buddy “Magic Snapshot,” who comes by my table every year. She’s going through a rough patch but I’m — we’re — confident she’ll be coming back year after year. XOXO

Here’s another example of cosplay done right! Meet Brittany Skipper. That day she was Sleeping Beauty, but I know she’s also cosplayed most of Disney’s stable of princesses (Belle, Ariel, Tinkerbell, Alice, Cinderella, Snow White, among others). And it’s kind of refreshing to see costuming done completely devoid of the perv/skank quotient. Bravo, Brittany!

Simple, yet effective. Best Uhura I’ve seen.

Our friends Sarah Kuhn and Jeff Chen came by the table, too. I think they had a fun convention: Sarah was on the Geek Girls Exist panel, and Jeff helped out over at JustJennDesigns a couple rows behind us. In this photo, I think Darlene was telling them where they could sneak away to have a nap.

Little slice of life behind the table. Here are my neighbors Wendy Chin-Tanner and Jose Cabrera during a brief — but welcome — lull in table traffic. Good neighbors to have!

If you’re going to fail, FAIL BIG. That’s my motto. At first glance, I’d just chalk up these costumes to being half-assed (like seeing a dude with steampunk goggles and backpack but wearing a polo shirt and Tevas). But these two guys transcend fail and bring it to an art form. I don’t know who I liked better: the Stormtrooper with a bucket for a helmet and paper plates as a suit of battle armor, or Iron Man in bathroom slippers, armor made from Coca-Cola boxes and touch lights on his palms. Let’s call it a tie.