Darlene tells me every now and then I should post some non-Cool Jerk art on this here blog. Well, here’s a little gem from 1976.

As some of you may know — either through my astonishing tales of yesteryear or from first-hand experience — my second grade was unlike any I’ve ever known. Mrs. Joyce Frank turned our Ralya Elementary (Haslett, MI) classroom of 30 desks into a freaking CITY. “Super Citizen City” was its name, actually. And there isn’t enough time in the day to impress upon you how incredible it was. Sure, we learned the three “R”s, phonics and cursive, but we also learned about federal, state and local government and each student had a role (I was a federal judge, IIRC). We also learned about commerce (we each had to create a store to sell our own hand-made goods) and assembly lines (for craft projects and the Yellow Pages-sized yearbook each kid received on the last day). Good grades earned us “money” and we could buy toys and candy with our hard-earned currency. For the major holidays we each made papier-mache decorations (pilgrim and turkey, Santa Claus in a chimney, etc.). And we each made a mobile.

The mobile was a personal reflection of each student. It had to contain a self-portrait, your house, your pet or pets, your favorite food, your favorite TV show, some of your memorable dreams, a list of your positive qualities, a testament to your patriotism (this was during the Bicentennial, after all), your loves and favorite activities. Each art element of the mobile had to be drawn and colored by the student, front-and-back, then reinforced with a sturdy middle layer, then varnished. Mrs. Frank helped out with art touch-ups and lettering where necessary.

My interests that year pretty much revolved around Godzilla movies, Six Million Dollar Man, “Jaws,” my pet iguana Igszy and social networking (except back then, “social networking” was actually “talking in class when I shouldn’t be”). While my art skillz have certainly improved over time, you can see my ability to draw cars pretty much plateaued when I was 7.

I’ve actually hanged the mobile in every place I’ve lived (when Darlene first saw it a decade ago, she wondered if I secretly had a grade-schooler). It’s gotten a little faded but looks pretty good after nearly 35 years. Thanks to Facebook, I’m in contact with about 25% of my second grade alumni and I bet they all still have their mobiles, somewhere.

Just a short recap of last week’s store signing at A-1 Comics in Sacramento. To be honest, I really needed to pimp the hell out of this thing (sending out a Facebook Cool Jerk Group invite, for example). Maybe coordinate with an area taco truck (like my signing in September). Maybe just plan out more than two weeks in advance. Lesson learned.

BUT— it was a lot of fun! I was only there for three hours but I got to hang out with fellow cartoonist Chris Wisnia, who dropped in to talk smack with me! Also, Jeff Kenoyer and his boy Alex came by — Hodabeast, Chickadoowa and sketchbook in hand — to get Bimboozled and catch up with me. Awesome! I haven’t seen Jeff since high school days (he’s my buddy Jay Kenoyer‘s younger brother) and I hadn’t met Alex, although I was warned he’s a big-time Cool Jerk aficionado. I also met and chatted with a bunch of other area comics fans who will soon join my ever-expanding legion of sleeper agents.

Sacramento, I shall return! Thanks again to Brian Peets (and Joe & Joey) for being such awesome hosts!

Not the storage company, steak sauce or the newspaper’s front page. I’m talking A-1 Comics!

I’ll be doing a Cool Jerk book signing at one of my favorite comic book shops — A-1 Comics in Sacramento — this Saturday, Nov. 6, from 11am to 2pm. A-1 is located at 5361 Auburn Blvd. in Sacramento (NOT the Roseville location). I’ll have all my books on-hand, plus the Canvas Panels I debuted at Comic-Con this summer. THREE HOURS ONLY!! Tell your friends!! It’d be nice to say hi to you Sacramento-area readers (many of whom I’m sure joined this mailer at APE or WonderCon in years past) and introduce you to my newest book, Bimboozled!

THIS is the kind of crap Doc Splatter has to put up with.

How does The Doc respond to young Josie Simmons? Go here to find out!

NOTE: People, this is legit. The above letter is a real letter given to The Doc at San Diego Comic-Con. Your participation is always encouraged. Please write The Doc. Be part of the magic. Be an index entry in the next Doc Splatter book. Be famous. Don’t make me bust out the house ads.

I’m sure many of you have seen my recent guest-artist run with comic writer Kevin Church (The Rack — Halloweek). If not… GO THERE FIRST BEFORE YOU READ ANY MORE OF THIS.

This is Kevin’s and my third annual Halloween collaboration, and since I detailed how I create Cool Jerk a few months back, I though I’d share how I did these strips for Kevin. It was a bit of a departure for me, in several ways.

First, I’m working with someone. Crazy! Kevin types up his screenplay (for lack of a better layman term), detailing each panel, caption and sound effect. Kevin even went so far as to include hyperlinks to source images, in the event I didn’t know what type of gun or video game I was supposed to draw. So for this Halloweek, there were five screenplays.

Another difference from my Standard Operating Procedure is that I’m working with characters not my own. Now, this happens all the time in comic books, but rarely for me. So I plowed through The Rack Year One (Mostly), Kevin and regular series artist Benjamin Birdie’s first volume of The Rack, and worked up my own variations of his characters. It’s kind of fun to play in someone else’s sandbox every now and then!*

The most-obvious aspect of Halloweek that differs sharply from Cool Jerk is… Sharpies. When I cartoon for myself, I use brush and ink; always have (well, since 1988… and I use Koh-I-Noor rapidographs or Sakura Pigma Micron pens for Doc Splatter). But, a couple years ago, I did the 24 Hour Comics Day challenge all in Sharpies. It allows me to adopt a loose and manic style which works great for Doc Splatter, plus it saves my hand from cramping up (which can happen if I use the brush for too long). Each Halloweek strip is about 98% Sharpie, and 2% Photoshop trickery and retouching.

Finally, The Rack uses a Comicraft font called Monologous. Thing is, Monologous doesn’t have a lowercase, so I have to use Comicraft’s BlahBlahBlah for those instances. (I also snuck in a tiny bit of Hornopolis hee hee. Look for it.)

The actual cartooning process was similar to Cool Jerk. Penciled roughs, printed panels, lightbox, Macintosh post-production, etc.

Thanks to Kevin for another harrowing week outside my comfort zone, and to Benjamin Birdie for clearing a week from your regular schedule.

*I recently did an illustration for Sarah Kuhn of her characters, featured in her witty and delightful book One Con Glory.

Here’s the detail (and tonal) version of the photo Yuri took of herself and Lady Gaga, from her first night working at Steamy Kawaii — The Pneumatic Jailbait Cafe.

I had a book signing for Cool Jerk Vol. 3: Bimboozled this past Saturday at M-Theory Music here in San Diego, and it was the best three+ hours I’ve had since my written driver’s test! Like I mentioned earlier (see the previous blog post), I wanted to have a consolation ‘con — a “Cool Jerk Comic-CAN” — for local friends and allies of Cool Jerk who couldn’t make it to Comic-Con this past summer. So I set up a mini-version of my SDCCI “tablescape” and sold some books!

Now, I’ve done a few book signings over the past 3-4 years, but this one was special for a few reasons:

• I used Facebook and Twitter (in conjunction with the weekly Cool Jerk e-mailer) to get the word out. Likewise, Darlene also contacted a few of her local friends via her food-blogging and comics aficionado circles. Believe it — those two worlds overlap!

• Darlene managed to get San Diego’s premier mobile cuisine (read: taco truck) Tabe BBQ to partner with us for the first 90 minutes. AND — to sweeten the deal — I whipped up some Taco Tickets for book-buyers (buy a book, get a free taco).

• M-Theory Music also has a weekly newsletter, plus a calendar of events (like mine) on their website.

• San Diego City Beat ran a blurb about the signing in the most-recent issue.

It was a synergetic synchronicity of comics, music and delicious Asian-fusion cuisine! Not a bad way to spend a warm autumn evening in America’s Finest City!

Thanks to a chunk of the Poway Posse — Nathan, Joe, Ben, Barry, Mack and rookie inductee Gary — for coming down to get Bimboozled! Also, a contingent of former Union-Tribune colleagues showed up to get the ‘Jerk (Chris, Steve, Janine, Anna, Mike, Jenny, Sandy, Ani and Bruce). Bethany Jordan and her friend Joey came by, as did Alex Gamboa and Darlene’s high-school video instructor, Mr. Lakin (and his entourage). I also finally got to meet the hilarious and enigmatic food-and-pop-culture blogger Canine Cologne (also with entourage). And, lastly, thanks to Rick at M-Theory Music for hosting the event, and to Chef Todd and Matt from Tabe BBQ for making it 40% more awesome (and 100% more delicious)!

San Diego Comic-Con just wasn’t the same this year. Oh, it was awesome, don’t get me wrong. IT’S ALWAYS AWESOME. I debuted my third Cool Jerk book, a new t-shirt design and a new hand-made product— the Cool Jerk Canvas Panel. And judging by sales, they were well-received.

But it just wasn’t the same. I have many regulars (and irregulars, truly) who have always made an effort to come by the Cool Jerk table and at least say hi, if not buy some of my stuff. They’re not fans. They’re friends. And a busload — no exaggeration — of local regulars couldn’t/didn’t make it to SDCC this year, for one reason or another (economy, tickets sold out, conflicting plans, sequestered for jury duty, boob job…). So I promised to hold a Cool Jerk Comic-CAN for my peeps.

This Saturday (Sept. 25), I’ll be having a three-hour book signing at M-Theory Music in the Mission Hills neighborhood of San Diego. I’ll have dozens of copies of Cool Jerk Vol. 3: Bimboozled, ready to sign off to you in person. Plus, I’ll have Hodabeast (Vol. 1) and Chickadoowa (Vol. 2) just in case you need to complete your library or your holiday shopping three months early! And just like my comic-con special— if you buy all three Cool Jerk books, you’ll get Doc Splatter Ominous Omnibus for FREE! The table space is somewhat limited, so I’m not going to be selling t-shirts, stickers or other items, but I will have the Canvas Panels on hand, too.

I realize a three-hour book signing pales to SDCC. But here are some plusses: NO $30 admission! Short lines! Wear whatever shoes you like! No eye-stabbings! And… how about a taco?

In her quest to make this event even more awesome, Darlene talked with Tabe BBQ — San Diego’s premier mobile cuisine — and they’re going to be parking their taco truck next door at the library for the first half of the signing (5-6:30pm)! So to make this more synergetic, I’m doing this: For every Cool Jerk book bought, I buy you a taco. This is a first-come, first-served offer, open to the first 20 books sold! Buy three books? THREE FREE TACOS! Comics and tacos? Did I just make your Saturday? You KNOW I did!

Here’s the event poster, with all the particulars. In short: Cool Jerk Comic-CAN, M-Theory Music at the top of the Washington Street hill, this Saturday from 5-8pm.

Thanks to M-Theory for hosting this little shingig (please throw some business their way, too!) and Tabe BBQ (their fish tacos are really, really good. I know what I’m having for dinner!).

I’ve amassed a small photo album of confirmed Cool Jerk paraphernalia sightings over the years. If you’ve seen others, feel free to email them to me so I can add them to the gallery!

Clear Cool Jerk sticker, side of a cigarette dispenser at a subway stop, Berlin, Germany.

Clear Cool Jerk sticker, side of steel pole near Manneken Pis, Brussels, Belgium.

Faded vinyl Cool Jerk sticker, Hillcrest neighborhood near Bronx Pizza, San Diego, CA.

Cool Jerk t-shirt in use, Solana Beach, CA (photo by James Burns).

Cool Jerk vinyl sticker, neighborhood bulletin board near Tokyo Tower, Tokyo, Japan.

Cool Jerk vinyl and clear stickers on underside of skateboard, San Diego, CA (photo by Jamie Lim).

Cool Jerk button (2004 edition) seen on anonymous 2010 San Diego Comic-Con attendee, San Diego Trolley, San Diego, CA.

Cool Jerk air freshener, in random car (OK, it’s Darlene’s. What.), San Diego, CA.

Had a nice, busy Cool Jerk-related day yesterday. Comic-Con is barely a week in the rear view mirror, but that doesn’t mean I rest on my laurels until the next convention or store signing. Oh no. I loaded up the car and headed up to Los Angeles. Mission: Bimboozled.

My first stop was Tustin. No, wait. My first stop was Port of Subs in Oceanside. Gotta eat some #8 for breakfast! (I considered sending JustJenn a photo, as is tradition.)

OK. My first Bimboozled-related stop was Comics Toons and Toys in Tustin. The owner — Matt Powers — and his #1 henchman Ken Rolow have long been allies and advocates of Cool Jerk. In fact, my second-ever store signing (in Dec. 2005) was there. Their inventory showed Hodabeast only, and Matt was kind enough to add Chickadoowa, Bimboozled and Doc Splatter Ominous Omnibus to their store. Yay!

My next stop was in Pasadena. I’d been to Comics Factory a few times, the most recent time I spotted a copy of Hodabeast on their shelf. So I introduced myself to George (the owner) and let him know I have three more books! He took a stack off my hands, cut me a check and we wished each other a good day.

Like a moth to a flame, I can’t get within a 20-mile radius of Burbank without stopping in to Porto’s Bakery for some lunch (potato ball sandwich) and to one of my all-time favorite comic shops: House of Secrets. Erik and Paul have been staunch supporters of Cool Jerk for years, and they hosted a store signing for me in January. Their clientele are loyal and friendly. All Erik needed to see was one copy of Bimboozled and nothing need be said by me, as he just said “let’s do it.” And now House of Secrets has the full Cool Jerk library.

Off to Meltdown on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood. I “officially” met Leslie (creator of the Beastlies), whom I’ve seen and said “hi” to a few times at Comic-Con over the years. Unfortunately, the head cheese Chris was recording a podcast so I was unable to strike up a partnership. I left copies of three books for his consideration, and a promise to contact him when it’s not so busy. (Meltdown does have a couple copies of Hodabeast in stock)

It wasn’t the smartest plan to drop in on comics shops on a Wednesday, aka New Comics Day. The busiest day of the week. But it was necessary, because my NEXT stop was The Comic Bug in Manhattan Beach… and thus the true reason for the trip north.

Unlike the other shops I visited, this one wasn’t about Cool Jerk. It was about JustJenn. Darlene’s and my friend Jenn was having a store signing (is that the right term?), selling her stationery, pads, buttons, badges, posters and related handmade design collectibles and ephemera. And cupcakes. Ohh-h-h-h. The cupcakes.

Besides being an outstanding food blogger and graphic designer, Jenn also bakes a mean cupcake. The ones she was selling (or giving away as samples, or with purchase) were meticulously decorated with some of the more popular Marvel or DC superhero logos.

That Superman logo was a jaw-dropper.

Not only did she make up one special for me (Fantastic Four logo), but the cupcakes themselves were “Horn Specials” — Red Velvet with Cream Cheese frosting and Ovaltine with Ovaltine Ganache frosting. (They’re nicknamed “Horn Specials” because Jenn did these exact cupcake varieties for Darlene’s and my wedding last summer, minus comic logos.)

Jenn already blogged about the event, so I won’t steal her thunder. But from my side of the table, it was a lot of fun. I saw a bunch of friends, most of whom are on Twitter (@sarahkuhn, @fakejeffchen, @foodlibrarian, @waffles) and met Jenn’s friend Cheryl (who bought a set of Cool Jerk books from me curbside at Jenn’s suggestion) and Jenn’s grandmother, aka The O.G.

For 12 hours yesterday, it was like a bonus sixth day of Comic-Con. Sure I sold a bunch of books, but I also bought more comics than I did during comic-con. I also met friends, made new ones, helped support a pal. Good day.